Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Holy bad computer mojo batman.

Recently I discovered that there is a goddess called Palikula, she is the goddess of all things cinematic. So if thats so then there must be a goddess of all things computer technical. I need to know who she is. See I believe that I have angered her because I haven't been worshiping her properly. In the last 6 weeks Ive had two major malfunctions and low this $240 later I'm back on-line again. This time it was the video card, Damn the Purge for this I say. I do think that if my man were not such a damn on-line game geek that I wouldn't be having all this trouble. It was the video card that blew up the mother board in the 1st place. However I have to wonder why the damn board could not support one year of high graphics gaming. Because if it couldn't it would stand to reason that ASUS would not warranty their mother boards for that kind of abuse. So I say, WTF?? hmmmm. Ive now replaced the damn video card with the top of the line (I'm told, but what do I know huh?) which incidentally is more costly than a damn hard drive or operating system. Doesn't make much sense to me. So hopefully Ill be back tomorrow with another post. However I am going to go ahead and post my disclaimer now. If I should not return by tomorrow, It inevitably means that I have yet another problem and let it be known now, I have officially spent every dime I have and maxed out both credit cards so that my family might have a nice Christmas and part of that money went to the computer which is to be my husbands only Christmas present this year and if the damn thing blows again you wont be hearing from me until after tax time. So if anyone knows the name of the computer goddess please drop her name in the comments so I might sacrifice something to her in order to make up for my lack of proper homage.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

uhhhhhh, ya.

So, Ive had a little blockage goin' on here for a little while, Ive had my computer back for about 5 days now and while the man type person has been monopolizing all of the computer time I haven't been to inclined to bitch about it. I'm super dull these days and my thoughts roam from "I cant remember that last time I washed this" too "Oh my god what is that?" too "which room do I disassemble, disinfect and reassemble today" wanna hear what I found under my kids beds? I think not, yeah a real journalistic genius here folks. BUT at least I have a computer with which to bore you all with when I do have something mundane and droll to say and it only cost me $55 some postage and some patience . P.S. Kris, I am ever so sorry I haven't logged on to My space, I'm still completely illiterate with it and its all I can do to check my e-mail these days. Seems now that I'm not working I'm busier than when I was. But eventually here maybe after Thanksgiving (my parents are coming) I'll get the house completely clean then I can think about school. There Melanie, I posted. However its a yawner. Maybe I'll post tomorrow between the pumpkin pie cooking and the deviled egg recipe I plan to create. Since my father is the reigning deviled egg king and master I have to try to master the art myself. Someone has to carry on the family legacy.

Friday, November 17, 2006

So, I got my new mother board...

However, it looks like the computer it self was the problem and we are swiftly playing process of alimination to try to find the original problem that caused the motherboard to fry. I would allready have reformated my computer were it not for the precious pics I have downloaded that I am currently trying to extract BUT my click/drag functions don't seem to be responding, so its proving difficult to accomplish. My next step is to e-mail all my files to myself in order to save what I cant extract. I just wanted to stop by briefly to let anyone who would care to know that I love and miss all of you and your blogs and as soon as I can stop worrying about my computer crashing I plan on posting my "why I would not continue working for McMahan's Furniture" post and will also be spending an entire day reading all and I do mean ALL of the posts on my blog roll list that I've missed while I've been away.
Love you all,
Love Evil.

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Short Note

My computer is down. The motherboard is toast, but it's under warranty, so we're getting a new one. It's a ten-day turnaround, and we're mailing it tomorrow, so you can expect me to post again in under two weeks. Seeya soon!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Bad Table

The beauty of working in a furniture store is that company send you their magazines to try to get the company to buy and sell their merchandise, every now and then you get a little gem of a giggle like this one;

This is called Bad Table, and Im sure you can see why. This is an acctual table that you can purchase and I assume set up in your living room and I guess use it for a cocktail table.
HA! this is THE funniest piece of merch I have ever seen, and I really needed that giggle today.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Update on the KOOL- AID pie

Okay so it was like 9:30pm and the kitchen lighting was not so good but here we have the KOOL-AID pie that I posted the recipe for on the post down below. My 10 year old daughter made this and while its very, very rich it was delicious and so easy. We also determined that this pie filling could be a very good frosting with a little variation, like instead of using KOOL-AID you could ad cocoa. While its rich for pie filling its acctually lighter and less sweet than canned frosting and sets up just as well. The flower pattern with the fruit was my daughters idea and it came out really cute. Try the pie, its really good.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Abominable Snow Man.

One day about 15 years ago Miss Melanie and I were roomates in this big 'ol run down house. During the winter that year, must have been February, it snowed. It started to snow and it didnt stop for 3 days. In Portland that's a long time for snow. It also hung around for about two weeks after this. Miss Melanie was working for this little chicken place in the mall and I being bored and an overly worrisome teen when it pertained to Miss Melanie decided to take the bus with her to work and I would play at the mall while she worked her shift and then we would head back home together. It took us 1 1/2 hours to get the 2 miles to the mall, usually a 10 minute bus ride.
And again on the way back same thing, very elongated bus ride that should have only taken a fraction of the time it did take. Now, from the bus stop to our house is a 10 block walk (through the snow) and at the end of said jaunt was a large park between us and the house making up the last 3 blocks of our walk. We, Melanie and I, get to that park and proceed to cross it to get home, shivering and lips blue, noses bright red, lungs burning from so much inhaled cold air, eyelashes begining to form small ice crystals. On the far side of the park is a man and his wife and their two small children and he is having a gas chasing them all around and throwing snow balls at them while they squeal with glee. Just as Melanie and I notice this and comment on how sweet they all look he turns...he spots US...and then the strangest thing, he starts to roar...in our direction. I look at her she looks at me, we start to giggle. THEN he raises his hands over his head flailing his arms about, he starts to roar even louder, he starts towards us, slow at first then faster, then he's running at full speed with a snow ball in each hand and roaring, LOUD. We still teenagers after all scream at the top of our lungs and start running at full speed toward the house. He is still in pursuit when the two of us collapse not two feet from the door laughing till we cant breath. As I sit up to catch my breath I realize, The Abominable snow man is laughing too. Holding his guts and rolling around in the snow laughing. Aparantly we had been made honorary Abominable snow kids so we didnt feel all left out and stuff.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Kool-aid Pie.

1 small package of orange Kool-aid
1 small can sweentened condensed milk.
1 8oz tub of whip cream.
1 grahm cracker crust.
1 small can manderin oranges.

mix 1st three ingredients together and pour into grahm cracker crust.
garnish with oranges.

this recipe can be altered w/any of your favourite flavors of Kool-aid and any fruit you choose as a garnish.
I think strawberry Kool-aid with strawberries for garnish would be fantabulous.
OOOH or tropical fruit with fruit cocktail garnish, oh the possibilities are endless.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Happy day

So, a little quickie.
Today is my cousin Stacy's birthday and I just wanted to put out a little message.
Happy Birthday little cousin!
I love you.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

What kind of weather are you?

This was fun.
Im lightning, beautifull but dangerous. People stop to watch me even though Im capable of great violence.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Oh this is hilarious.

I so have to have this Tee shirt.

Monday, October 09, 2006

My cat, The dog.

So, I ran out of dog food yesterday so I got a small bag of dog food to tide over the pooch untill I get paid this week and can go to the feed store on the outskirts of town, Now my oldest cat is very tired of her kitten (now almost as big as she is) sniffing around her ass and has decided to come home only rarely. So to entice her to stay close to home I bought her some wet cat food. To be nice I devided the first can I opened (salmon flavor, Melanie you are no cat if you dont like salmon) between the two of them, Juliette practically growled with pleasure when I dumped it into her bowl. Tybalt, the wiley kitten took one look at the "not dog food" and looked up at me with this "WTF? is this shit" look and would not touch it. I had to run some errands so I left him to buck up figure it out and eat the damn expensive cat food I lavished upon him. I came home to him crying CRYING PEOPLE! over his food as if it were satan himself in the dish. Low and behold when I conceded and put dry dog food in the dish he devoured it with relish. The wet food is still in the dish untouched, he ate the dry food and left the wet. So be it. Dog food for you cat-dog.

I'm tagging myself.

Because my "Honor" is in question. (not really)

I am: A really good listener.

I want: To get away from from this job with my original hair color.

I have: No Idea what I have. A clear indication that spring cleaning is far overdue.

I wish: I had my own house, with its own yard where my bedroom is further away from my kids bedroom.

I hate: To imagine not ever having a place to call mine.

I miss: Little Bill.

I hear: My friends are going to Costa Rica next month and am very jealous that Im not going with them.

I wonder: Where I'll be in ten years.

I regret: Not buying that dress at country fair when I had the chance.

I am not: Ever, ever ever ever, going to another one of those fucking "camp outs" at a certain persons property that I will not name here.

I dance: Whenever or where-ever the music moves me.

I sing: As long as no one is listening except my kids 'cause their the only ears I dont offend with it.

I cry: Over sappy old movies, T.V. shows and sentimental commercials.

I am not always: As friendly as I act.

I make with my hands: This recipe of my great grandma's called butterscotch candy that my Man has lovingly named CRACK 'cause its that addictive.

I write: Very little and not very well.

I confuse: My children every single time they ask me what is for dinner.

I need: A BREAK!!! and the return of my sanity.

I start: Craft projects that I dont finish.

I finnish: This meme that no-one acctually tagged me for.

and there you have it.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

My daughter the artist

So, this particular talent comes from her father who is a fantabulous artist, if I could get him to draw I would post them here all the time, but alas he likes him the online games these days. But he did pass on the wonder of talent to my children and I must post it here. She drew this free hand (my oldest child), she tells me "Momma, I didnt really draw this 'cause I had to look at the picture while I was drawing but I didnt trace it." Such modesty, I cant draw this good if I do trace it. Isnt she wonderfull.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Dog attacks his own foot

because its trying to get his bone.
This is the funniest pet video Ive seen in a very long time.
You have to click on the underlined word in this here blog to get to the link,
my colors dont make the links all that clear. Go see, you wont regret it.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Evil Drama Queen

So, after two days of sleep (for me and the truck) all is well, my truck started right up no problem (WTF?) and I woke up not feeling as though I was going to burst into tears. So, Ill probably still get to attend my cousins wedding and so will also get a birthday.
I guess Im just a whiner.

Monday, October 02, 2006

depression cont'

I just want to add that I had so much more to say to explain all the ways the universe has once again singled me out but as I said below blogger keeps giving me the finger and now I feel to tired depressed and exausted to say any of it. Other than this, fuck it all, Im goin' to bed and Im only gettin' up when I absolutley have too. (i.e. to take the girls to school, to WALK myself to work.) Maybe I can just sleep through this little episode and when I wake up there'll be a prince and dwarves and....


So, here it is closer to the end of my employment and I thought everything would be falling into place. I went out saturday night with my girlfriend Marie. Aparently the universe has determined that I am not allowed to have fun. As I was pulling my truck up to my house, two parking spaces away from mine and the truck died. I mean D-I-E-D all power gone, power stearing gone, all dead. Its like doom has once again started towards me with his outstreched boney finger and is preparing to tap me (once again) on the shoulder. Folks, I have had my fair share of this. I thought it was all over, that I had moved past that place in my life where things are so unstable that it could all come crashing down in an instant. I was wrong. At least now Im old enough to see the signs of it early enough to steal myself from it. This all comes at a most inoppertune time. I have a wedding to go to that Im prbably gonna have to bag out of now, which means also, no birthday for Evil, and I thought this was gonna be my lucky birthday starting my lucky year. seems not so, and now I just got a message from blogger saying its having trouble and this post may not even publish. Im gonna go cry.

Friday, September 29, 2006

"cause I hear I'll get fifty bonus points.

And NOT be cursed with butt worms. A little link for you to read.
here is Yes You Are.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Because Its damn funny.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Sunday fun at the arcade in Seaside.

These are my children, I tried very hard to get them to be silly with me but alas they only looked at me with amazement when I acted silly. Arent they precious my little terrorists.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Ode to an idiot.

To the idiot driver you tried to run me off the road,
You are a fucking asshole. Im pissed that you came down the hill In my lane as I was driving up the hill to take my daughter to the bus-stop. Im even more pissed that because I had to come to a compleate stop to avoid driving into you I got to get a close look at you because you were so damned close to me on account'a you had to drive around me as you were IN MY LANE!! and I discovered you were on your cell phone. You are why I dont have a cell phone. People are stupid with their cell phones. They want to talk and drive, which no-one has mastered Im sorry its true, or they want to come real close to you and stare at you while they talk to someone else WTF?? like they want to include you somehow in their conversation or they really want to impress you with their I dont know ability to talk while holding a tiny amount of plastic. Anyway back to Mr ran me off the road. Here's the best part you dumbass, I really enjoyed glaring at you when you came back up the hill and realized what you had done and that I was now parked and standing on the corner with my tiny child. I could see from the way you covered your entire face with your left arm so that all eye contact was blocked and you could avoid my icy stare of death. This however also blocked your view of on comming traffic. To this I say, you really are a fucking idiot, please cease and desist driving emediatley. Thank you.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Quickie, Update.

So, stupid store manager and fat stupid warehouse manager are no more. Stupid store manager got himself fired (HA!) and fat stupid warehouse manager quit on the spot when confronted with his latest truck accident (Double HA!) Stupid store manager has been replaced by a woman (WOO-HOO!!) so far she's the shit. She takes none, whips ass and she's funny...bonus! Here's to hoping it all runs smooth from here.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Oddly enough...a political post.

Well sort of, I feel the need to gossip about one of the leaders of our fair Astoria. In particular our Mayor, Mayor Van Dusen. Ever heard of Van Dusen beverages? One in the same. Anyway our Fair Mayor has for the third time in his 15 years (15 years? there should be a law) as Mayor gotten himself arrested for druck driving. Let it be known that Mayor Van Dusen employs (and personally hired) the man who arrested him...hmmm.
Now this man is claiming that after all this time, finally he needs help. He has checked himself into the bum bum baaaaaa Betty Ford Clinic. Heres a link to the Betty Ford website so's you could all see how much that clinic will cost him (or rather, me.) Now all I have to say about this, and make no mistake I would say it to his face if I could is this: Why when you can afford a lofty price tagged rehab center like Betty Ford could you NOT afford a FUCKING CAB RIDE HOME? You might haved saved yourself (again probably me) alot of money and possibly a life! What a wonderfull example our fair leaders are setting for our children. You can get away with anything as long as you have a policeman on your payroll and most important, in your pocket.

Monday, September 18, 2006

crossing off the days on the big giant calander with a red sharpie marker.

The working never ends. I work 40 to 60 hours a week for the furniture store, if I wasnt so damn tired when I got home I would work another 1 to 2 hours a day at home as well what with dinner to cook and laundry and dishes to wash and children who need read to or an ear to listen to them read and the batheing and the house to tidy and lets not even talk about the dusting that I dont do. I just use the excuse that Im stocking up on cob webbing for halloween, so what if its eight months away! So for this reason alone (allthough there are many others) I am so glad that I am loosing my job. Now I might acctually get some days off instead of using my days off from work to work at home. The first two weeks will be spent cleaning each and every room in my house. I have six rooms alltogether and I figure it will take me two days to get each room sanitized and then another two days to go through the three closets in the house (two of those are really storage only) and sort out the crap from the keep. I figure after all of that is done I can safely alot myself two full days of sleep. After spending the last three and a half years working full time as an Office manager and a full time maid also I could really use a vacation. There is this beautifull quaint little hotel in Seaside, Oregon called (shocker) The Seaside Inn. It only has 8 rooms and all of them have Ocean views. There all themed, like the wicker room (all the furniture is wicker surprise!) with all the wicker accesories. Theres the log cabin room, the driftwood room. Some of them have hot tubs in them OH FUCK YA!! Now Ive been talking about doing this for a couple of years now, checking myself in for the weekend with a bottle of wine (or three) and sitting in the window with it and a pack of smokes (or three) and the ocean view and air as my only friend for three whole days. Its about $150 a night but I deserve it. Give me a room on the top floor with a spa and I promise not to fall out the window after Im drunk. My little present to myself for working 7 days a week for the last 10 years. Now some of you might say, "whine whine, suck it up Momma all us Mom's have to do that." and to that I say, Your right, Im not special because Im over worked. Im not alone in my misery, BUT that doesnt mean I dont deserve a break or a whine. Or some wine, whatever.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Note to self.

Tip for the day:
always wear black.
reason: When you form a hole in your lower lip a spit coffee into your lap you DONT look like you've just wet yourself 'cause no-one can see it.
God bless black.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The weirdness of Evil by request.

Okay so my friend Melanie (sorry not skilled enough to make her name a link) has requested ney demanded thay I post 5 things that are weird about me. All I have to say before I start is: You know what my name is, you asked for it remember that.

1. I am a complete slob at home, I am not OCD inclined when it comes to housework, however I cannot function in anything but complete organization at work, I cannot work on top of work everything has to be neat and tidy down to the contents of the desk drawers.
2. I love to watch bull riding, this is a new one for me. Recentley I was flipping channels and ended up on the Outdoor Life Network where to my astonishment I found my self hollering at the T.V. like a dude watching the superbowl. A new love of PBR (professional bull riding) was born.
3. I have a jar. In that jar: A wolf tooth, a human tooth, feline and canine whiskers and baby teeth, A white hair from a witch, a porcupine quill and the wings of multiple insects. I also conned my children out of the toothfairies treasure by out bidding her for them and I have all there babyteeth as well.
4. I dont do death. I dont cry when people die, I dont mourn at the funeral, I laugh. I laugh at people who lie about the dead, I try not to do it out loud, or if not then at least keep it to the row Im in. what can I say see #3.
5. When Im alone and something or someone has pissed me off, Ill talk to it/them as if they were there, Ill say the mean things I think only when Im angry but would never really say to any person. If you walked in on me doing it you'd think I was a nutter. I got this one from dear ol' Dad, I know 'cause I have walked in on him doin' this. Thanks Dad!
And there you have it folks Im a loon. Im sure there's more but thats all ya get.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The new do.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

gone, GONE BABY!!!

Okay so this morning when the oldest walked out the door for her 1st day back at school, my heart did a little flip. When the little girl crossed the street to board the bus without so much as a backward glance the giddiness almost bubbled up out of me. When the bus pulled away and I saw her sitting next to some other little kid who was just as excited to be on the bus and I saw her laugh, the giddiness then did bubble out of me, so much so that I turned and skipped, acctually skipped back down the hill. Free, my mornings are once again mine for an entire hour before work. And soon, very soon, the whole day will be mine. you will be mine, oh yes, you WILL be mine.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Today has been very busy

Two kids to their prospective classes for tomorrow's 1st day of school, the little girl and I just got our hairs cut. She got a little page boy with bangs so she can see us and we can see her. I got a super groovy stacked A-line, long in the front and short in the back. I love it, BUT, since aunt ethel is about to come make me miserable, and she fore-shadowed her impending arrival by turning my face into a pepperoni pizza (who said it stopped after puberty? they lied) I wont be showin' off my new do for a week or so. But I promise I will post a pic of the new do as soon as my face doesnt look like its was just delivered by the pizza boy.

One down, one to go.

Okay, so this morning I took the oldest child to orientation, apparently parents happily send their children to school without this little ritual, which I can only imagine is very frustrating for the kids and the administration who have to deal with a rash of children who have know idea where to go or what to do. So I take them, even though I know they will probably get where they need to go even if they dont have a clue. I cant see the admin leaving all those children who didnt attend the orientation out in the hall. Anyway, the oldest has an awesome teacher, he's up-beat, kinda goofy and he had the whole room hanging on his every word. I like that, he even had me intrested. At 1pm I have the other one to take to orientation.
My point to all this is, its gonna be a good year. In my life time every year that I have turned an age where both numbers were the same its been a very good year (I.E. 11, 22 and now 33) Its gonna be a very good year. Something wonderfull always happens, at 11 my baby brother was born, at 22 my oldest child was born, this year I can't have kids so maybe just maybe it will be the birth of my new home. Im hoping. But, its starting to look up. I turn 33 this year, I get a reprieve from the job I hate. I get to go back to school (I hope) And who knows....maybe Ill win the lottery. Its gonna be a good year.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Conversation with my youngest child

Youngest child: Mommy, is dinner almost done im sooooooooooooo hungry.
Me: Yes.
Youngest child: what are we having?
Me: fried poo.
Youngest child: eeeuuuwww, fried poo. Oh well im so hungry I dont care what it is.
And all that money Ive wasted on all those four (or is it five now?) food groups, turns out I couldve shopped in the yard for free.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

My week at a glance...

Okay sunday was supposed to be spent relaxing but instead I had to go pick up the my stranded man from a 2nd yurt building trip, which was crazy. as soon as I arrived his rides car started.
On the way home we were almost hit head on by a state patrol truck who's was going so fast when he rounded the corner in my lane that his tires were squealing and he ran me off the road. Our warehouse guys have managed to break the same part on the same delivery truck twice this week. It is now in the shop for the second time.
The idiot warehouse manager who doesnt know how to do his job has pissed everyone off in the store, two of his guys quit, but he still manages to think he knows what hes doing and were all idiots (pssssst, he broke the truck the 1st time, 3rd time in his 9 month employment!)
Today is my mans 33rd birthday Happy Birthday Axe! IIIIIIII luv ya. And today he was feeling nice and said "get as dirty as you want, schools almost here its your last chance." To our children while we were at his aunts house.
They literaly were covered head to toe in mud. You ever see those little aborigany kids with mud so thick it kinda dreads their hair? My children. I had to cover the backseat with sleeping bags (thank god I left them in the truck) and they still trailed mud all over the back and the back of the front seats even though I practically wrapped them in the bags. Should've stuffed them inside.
Then I get home only to realize that the dog has some how sliced open his foot and has saturated the buff colored fabric of my front seat with blood.
And there is only 5 days left till school starts and I havent bought one damn thing for the kids yet. That was just before I sat down to post. I can safely say I need a break.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The two voices of Evil.

So it was brought to my attention today that I have two very differant voices. One is my "how are you today? how can I help you? sure I can take your money!" voice. The second is my "get your slow lazy ass to the office and out of the dark warehouse you lazy fucking warehouse guy!" voice. and while I dont acctually say that, its more like "warehouse to the office for customer assitance" Its a very drop everything and get up here yesterday, voice. The first is sweet natured with a little lifting of the octave range sweet curtious and polite, the second one drops at least an octave lower and has a distinct "mother telling her children what to do and to do it swiftly" type of twinge to it. My customer heard both in the span of two minutes and said "WOW! thats a noticable voice differance, I wouldnt have thought those two voices came from the same person if I hadnt been watching it." What can I say? some times ya gotta be nice, sometimes ya gotta be a BITCH!.

Friday, August 18, 2006

So, after some serious consideration...

Ive decided NOT! to take the job doing collections on commision. Some things have come to light that I cannot reveal here yet, that have led me to understand something about myself. I can no longer in good conscience continue to work for this company and upon my termination my first blog will be WHY I can no longer subject myself to them.
to be continue'd.....

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

god help me...

Just to let anyone know not that anyone would ask, ill be a little busy and not too bloggy for awhile. We just started liquidating at the furniture store and its a fuckin nightmare. No really, its so much worse than I ever could have imagined. Im there till 7:30pm almost every day just trying to get the 5 total figures they want 1st thing every morning off of 8 stacks of paper where everything is a jumbled mess and this doesnt even include what cash/check/credit cards we took. My head is on perma-pound. Two days off in a row and I spent the 1st day just getting over the headache. So, I may post I may not, things are gonna get pretty boring (more so that usual) over here at the house of Evil. Good night and good luck (to me.)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

HEH! thought I was gettin fired....

Okay so yesterday Im on my day off right, My store manager calls and says "Big G wants to talk to you, can you come to work for a little while if your comming this way? he needs to talk to you, I dont know why " Okaaaaaaaaay. So Im freakin' out! I figure okay they found a way to get rid of me AND screw me out of unemployment too. Not so, they want me to work from home. Sounds nice right? wrong, they want me to bust my ass to work their collections but they want me on commision, so at the end of the day if noone pays, I dont get paid for the work I just did, so in other words if I cant get'um to pay Im working for free, FOR FREE, and the commision they did offer? I seriously can make more money on unemployment and NOT work. And what really burns me is they think its this gift of a job because Id be doin' it from home. Now, I use to work in property management so I am all too familiar with what happens when you turn your home into an office, you loose all your rights to privacy, because their shit is in your house. They want to give me a computer, a fax machine, put a phone line in my home and transfer the store's phone # to MY HOUSE, I told them Id think it over as I have till the store closes to decide. I really want to sever all ties with this company though, they are as loyal as polititions. AND I hate doing collections. I dont want to call people and ask them for money. I dont want to due legal work and I dont want to go to court. They tell me "you can remain anonymous, you can use a differant name." Ya untill Im in court with them in the afternoon and then the grocery store with them in the evening. I dont know, its every Mom's dream to work from home right? then the wopper "you could make any where from $2500 to $6000 a YEAR." WOOPDY FUCKIN DO!!! again I can make more than that on unemployment. so once again they want to shaft me, pay me less than Im worth to do more than there paying me for. At this point I just dont know. could you make good money working commision at a job you despise?

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The sweetest gift

Dear Universe,
Today, my mother-in-law took my children to her house, just outside of portland. WOO HOO!!! no fighting, no fussing, no "MOM SHE CALLED ME AN IDIOT." "NO I DID NOT YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!". ahhhhhhh the peace and quiet, I may just go to bed and not get up till tomorrow, or go visit some friends with no kids and drink all their booze. Id be at the bar right now except that the little repreive im getting also came right after the rent was due so I am completley broke and can do nothing with myself that requires funds. Ah well at least Im free for a few days. that will have to do, Thank you universe for giving me this kind gift. Now bring them back to me safe and sound so I dont regret the wonderfull me time I have been given.
Evil Queen.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Hey Buddy! your village called! they would like to have their idiot back.

So I really cant say all that much because I do want to stay employed long enough to collect my well deserved unemployment compensation. BUT! I have three dudes at my store going through AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL the inventory (psst, no ones done it in three years!) and their realizing that its bad, its so fucking bad. Its not surprising their having to close this store. They are fucking morons when it comes to inventory. So when we got the memo saying who was comming and it said "they'll be there Mon. & Tues." well its wednesday, when I left at 6pm (being a woman Im not qualified to do the inventory) I asked sweetly "So, I take it your not done yet so...y'all will be here tomorrow? (yes I said y'all) and he replied yes we'all will. Okay then see ya tomorrow! He tried to convince me to stay and help but I reminded him I wasnt qualified. So, needless to say, twice today they said out loud how bad it all was and twice I laughed out loud. I couldnt help it. It was a little easier to take when I could see the look in their eyes...the one that told me that they could see how fucked up and frustrating it all was and that I was completley aware of it, not only that but I had been dealing with it for longer than they really were aware of (they really think women are stupid, they really have that one backwards.) Anyway...I should stop. But when I have time and no job I am so gonna bitch, tattle and whine till Im blue.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Ever have a Mom sandwich?

Well thats how I woke up this morning, the littlest girl apparently crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night and its been so long since she 's done it that I let her stay when I realized she was there, I even curled myself around her and cuddled up with her. Cause really, how much longer can I do that? soon she wont be little at all. Then the daddy decided he was gonna cuddle up with ME, which was absolutley wonderfull at the time, I had the little girl curled up to my tummy and I was curled up in the daddy's tummy and all was right with the world. Untill they turned up the heat, then it went from a cold Mom sandwhich to a fried Mom sandwich. This woke me up from a dead sleep (another reason to cuddle with little girl, she gives off an awesome sleep vibe that NO-ONE could resist) I found I could not move, I was sweaty (most unattractive) and my elbow (?) and one small spot on the side I wasnt laying on was hurting so bad it allmost made yelp. Instead I woke the daddy and politely ask for my share of the bed back, not that cuddling with my big giant man isnt nice but once youve started to puddle you risk grossing him out 16 years or no. I then left the two of them as going back to sleep was not an option, my eyes had lazily drifted to the clock which told me it was 2 minutes till it started to yelp, oh well, (sigh) back to hell, I, I mean work.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

A Night at the house of Evil.....

Okay, so my two little girls through such a bazerker rage fit fight with each other that it made me mad enough to worry about what punishment I should deal out as being this angry could cause them discomfort. SO...I put them to bed without dinner for the first time in their shall we say "well fed" lives, NOW! lets get one thing straight, this was their fathers idea, and I thought is was a wonderfull idea as beating them seemed a little harsh considering the mood it put me in, much safer form of punishing Id say and would make them suffer just as much if not MORE than a good spanking (oh I know GASP! shut up) BUT NO! their father is a big giant MARSHMELLOW and caved in, see I made a roast tonight with corn on the cob and big baker baked potatoes, EVEN BETTER! make them smell the roast but not eat, let them hear us eating dinner but not get any themselves. But no, sigh. He fucking caved in, then my daughter the oldest just now walked down the stairs, ney skipped down them with a "Ive never been in trouble in all my life im so innocent" look apon her face. FUCK! if this continues untill she's a teenager IM OUTA HERE!! I will not do the backward slide into hell because of an unruley teen HELL NO! ill go and he can stay and deal with the monsters he has created, AND the little one was allready asleep, he woke her! so much for "wait till your father gets home" there will be none of that. I get to be the harpy then? So be it, but remember you forced me. I am and will remain, THE EVIL QUEEN.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

To the little birthday girl whos not so little anymore...

This little girl just turned 7 years old last wednesday, Oh my god how the time does fly by so swiftly, Happy Birthday My little watermelon baby!

I found this today.....

This is me in the 1st grade, and it accured to me how very much my oldest child looks like me. I held it up next to her 1st grade picture and allthough you can tell we are two differant people the resemblance is well scary. And this is also to prove that at one point I WAS a sweet cute little girl, unlike the mean evil woman I have become.

what I did on my summer vacation...

We went to Miss Melanie's house (and I did slap her on the ass! but it was 'cause she let slip that I was available to speak on the phone to someone I didnt feel like speakin' to at the time!) we spent 4 wonderfull days doin' pretty much nothing but letting the kids play, and lo and behold they have reach an age where they do not fight, oh my god it just hit me, I dont think they fought one time the entire time we were there. HEY MELANIE! can you remember a fight between any of the girls while we were there? Has it come to it finally? have our children reached an age finally where they can hash out their differances without incident? there was a time when we couldnt get through a half an hour without having to break up some scuffle or another between two or all of our children, 'cause lets face it when you have 4 girl children between the ages of 4 and 10 things can get a little dramatic and the drop of a hat, hell at the drop of anything. but NOW they are between the ages of 7 and 12 and all is right with the world. GOOD LORD THE YOUNGEST OF THEM IS 7. for the love of god where did the time go. Im gonna blink and there all gonna be callin' me from their own houses telling me what they did that weekend, and far be it from me to rush things but BRING IT! I am so ready to be a selfish woman again with no real care in the world but what I WILL BE WEARING today. not that I dont love my children and my nieces but I am innately selfish and had it not been for their father who begged I probably would have never had children. But while I have them its nice to be able to take them to someone else who is in the same boat and just let them all be little girls. So thanks Melanie, for letting me descend apon you with my loud little blondies and for dealing with the ever dreaded birthday party with me (the source of all Mother's exaustion, the B-Day party) Thank you for being my very best friend so I can do things like spring on you a new futon mattress for your poor sad little mattressless futon frame so as to cease to cause a health hazard in your living room. For letting me witness your totally awesome feline and his incredible freak out show. For being such a good sport when my stupid sweetheart pulled out his fucking hallmark card and had your MIL sign the R.S.V.P and happily invited her into your presence where you could not without causing major trouble extricate your self from the situation (ps I believe he did it on purpose now fucking ass) leave it to the men to make sure THEY arent uncomfortable in any situation even if it means forcing their women to PRETEND to be nice and not angry. thank you thank you thank you. I had a fab-u-lous time. And! now its your turn. you need to come see me now. The weathers beautifull, the water has that summer ocean smell to it that will stop you dead and find you sniffing the air like you have never breathed untill just that moment. and heres the clincher, it cools off at night, and it starts off cool in the morning, and we need more pictures of the girls driving the water bound machine of doom. so thats what I did on my big vacation. stay tuned theres still 6 weeks of summer left before school starts and I have one more KID B-Day to celebrate (good times!)

Monday, July 17, 2006

aaaaaaaaaaaaand we're off!

Okay, so were pack to the roof on account a I got Miss Melanie in Orygun something she really needs and since I perpetuated the need I suppose Ill have to rectify her problem, however she has no Idea what it is and so I wont ruin the surprise by anouncing it here. BUT will have her fill all you's in when we's get there. So we're on our way out of town as on NOW! one quick stop and the fillem up station and away to P-town we go. And hey Kevin! I promise to give her a good healthy swat on the ass for ya this time! kisses ;)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Im losin' my mind

I just realized that its been well longer than I can remember since Ive had any time to myself. I go to work and I deal with disgruntled customers and disgruntled employees, then I come home and I deal with disgruntled children then I get up and start all over again. I need a drink.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Its an aniversary....

Im not sure of the exact date of this picture so we'll just call it a summer aniversary, and I know I said at one point that we were never married but I guess I fibbed 'cause I looked up on my wall and spotted this, it was taken about 13 years ago this month. We met about 3 years before that, I must note that while the church is no more Alex and I still endure. Happy Aniversary Alex!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Just in case....

your children are whining about doing the chores whilst on their summer vacation.....

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Ever have one of those days?

Or weeks rather, when your completley irratated? people irratate me. Everywhere I go theres some rude asshole waiting to irrate me. Yesterday at work I had a lady call me about her furniture delivery, now this women is getting an exchange for her merchandise so she is fully aware that her delivery will be sometime between 12 noon and 6pm. Our warehouse calls these people and gives them a 4 hour window for there delivery (legally we have to) now Im at work on one of the most beutifull days this summer and Im working ALONE, when she calls to bitch (real loud) "you mean I am expected to be held captive in my house all day waiting for YOU PEOPLE! my children want to go to the RIVER! I felt like saying "you know, your welcome to free up your day by bringing your lazy ass down here and picking this shit up yourself, then you dont have to wait for US PEOPLE to bring you your shit. But I cant say that. I dont know about you all but when I have a delivery, when I pay for something that I want and PAY for it to be delivered I will wait, Ill wait all day, HELL the cable guy gives you a window OF all day, "between 8 and 5 ma'am, thats the best I can tell you." What is with people? do they think its okay to treat people this way? never in my life have I called a business up and been that rude to them. Then she went on to say, "I want you to get ahold of your men and narrow that window down, I have a life you know!" Now, Ive been irrated for more than a week at this point, what I want to say is "BITCH if your life is so important why did you agree to be at home for your fucking delivery that youve been harrassing me for a week over?" why did you call me everyday to yell at me that your merchandise was taking a WHOLE WEEK to arrive? Let me tell you something lady, I have people who have been waiting for there furniture to arrive from FUCKING CHINA for months and you want to bitch about a week? WTF? If shopping is so damn frustrating and enprisoned like for you then why dont you find another hobby, hmmm? Normal people are so happy that there new furnishings are to arrive that day that they'll happily stay home to wait. And those who dont want to wait all day? they PICK IT UP!!! 'cause really the price of renting a u-haul to pick up your shit is cheaper than the wopping $75 it takes for delivery. The only problen with that? They have to haul their OWN shit into there house. You know some people are just unhappy all the time and its these people who make it a point to spread their misery to others, 'cause you know it loves the company. I just have one thing to say....THANKS!, thanks a whole fuckin' bunch. You suck!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Monday, June 26, 2006

Okay dont laugh...

Call me a vidiot, but, Its a sad sad day in vidiot land my friends. Aaron Spelling has passed on. YES FOLKS Donna Martin's daddy has died so sayeth the kids over at GFY. I was not immune to the lure of 90210 and Melrose. Even as a child I would secretly be disappointed when a family member would rather watch golf then the great Dynasty (see the nasty in that?) or Dallas (Oh J.R., your great creator has gone) I think anyone who loved him or his work openly or in secret should give a second to pay homage to the man who brought the trash romance novel to the boob-tube. A great era has ended and for this I am sad.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

realizing your old.

I went to a baby shower today and if you scroll down you will see the belly of the quest of honor. What I realized while at said shower is that im old. I looked around me and Im sitting with all the women that are my age or older and that all the "girls" are in with the mother to-be who is barely more than a babe herself. What accured to me as I sat there is that I was more comfortable where I was and that I had no real desire to go in and sit with all the 20 something's in and around the new mommy. Even if it meant that I could impart some of my wisdom (heh) on these girls who are searching for lifes instructions. Heres the thing though, maybe I want to be old, let me explain. When I was a young 20 something girl I would look longingly at groups like I was in this evening and think to myself, "man, wouldnt it be cool to be that cool.?" now not tooting my own here or anything but it does come down to this, I feel more comfortable and at ease because I am more comfortable and at ease, I no longer have to try to be all sexy and pretty and cute. I am a mother with a husband and short people to look after and to sit around with other "women" who are in the same boat and just take a good long relaxing deep breath, It acctually feels like ive caught my breath for a change. So call it old or call it settled but its nice not to be the mother to be, or the mom with the little babies. Also seeing three ( yes, folks THREE) pregos in the same room (there were supposed to be 4 but one popped last night) it made me very glad I am no longer capable of child bearing. Ill leave that to the 20 somethings.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Ten things I hate...

First and formost
1. I hate stupid people.
2. I hate it when customers walk into my store at 5 min to close and shop till they buy nothing for 45 min. People the overtime is NOT that great.
3. I hate it when my bra strap snaps.
4. I REALLY hate pulling out something to wear that I love and discovering that TODAY it looks and feels (very important) like shit on.
5. I hate the word BUT. me: go pick up your coat off the floor, 9 goin on 19: BUT, BUT WHY?
6. I hate most men between the ages of 18 and 22, it should be manditory for them to spend these years on an Island unto themselves far far from everyone.
7. I hate a few assorted body parts, which for humility sake I will not name here.
8. I hate my job.
9. I hate to be cold
and this ones the big one,
10. I hate HATE HATE HATE...(hate) housework.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Off to the greater P-Town area...

well folks, its off to the big city for us here Astoria hick folk, pacen up the dog and the kids and headin' out. See ya'.

Monday, June 19, 2006

5 hours at the E.R.

Well, today my littlest girl was so wracked with tummy pain that I took her to the emergency room. After fives exausting hours they really dont know whats wrong, they think its a urinary tract infection and there positive its not appendisitice. But they wont know if its a UTI untill the test results come back tomorrow, so they gave me some scripts for some anitbiotics which I wont be administering untill they are SURE its a UTI. not givin' my kid medicine if she doesnt need it. And they also gave me a script for a fool-proof stool softener in case its just a really bad case of constipation. All of these problems could possibly lead to the vomiting which she also started to do again today. This does not however strengthen my faith in the medical profession when 3 doctors of different fields could not come up with a solid answer after a fucking cat scan. Anyway, now that im home which was also in question as they himmed and hawed over whether to keep her over night for oberservation I find that I am completley exausted and cannot sleep. Must be the worrying. The little one is however sleeping soundly now and I have to wonder if my first instinct was correct and she just has a stomach bug that she managed to re-infect herself with because I failed to get all of the water bottles she drank off of the first time out of her sight. When the guys with the degrees cant figure it out I have to wonder if, as a mother, im ultimatley more qualified as a pediatrician then the professionals.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day to my favorite boy in the whole wide world...

See that right there, That man asked me to have that baby. And Im so glad I did, they say a picture is worth a thousand words and this one is. I coulndt say anything as beautifull as I think this picture is, Thank you my lover, my friend and my soul mate. You have given me everything. Happy Fathers Day Alexander,
I Love You.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The last day

Its the end of the school year people, I am so pleased that I get to sleep in an hour for the next three months, then maybe Ill be out of this hell job and can sleep all day after the kids are back in school. And, I might. Untill I get all caught up on said sleep. My littlest girl will be attending school today. She is all better, a little sore in the tummy but she woke with a smile this morning and managed to eat a banana and some milk without cluching her gut and sayin' "momma, my tummy hurts" So all is well and the kids are almost off to school, I have one more to drop at the bus stop and then Im free. And so are they. P.S. Miss Melanie, in answer to your post about boring bloggers...not so boring. My life IS boring at the home front its the work front that irritating and comical and blog worthy but I really cant blog about that yet. SOOOOOO for now its the mundane home life ya'll git.
Happy last day of school!!! anyone else getting set free of the institution today? ;}

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


I have a very sick little girl. She has been throwin' up all week, and, its the last week of school. Poor little thing. The best part of being in school too! the very last week is always the most fun. AND now the man has it too. If im lucky ill get through the week without catching it also. Im very carefull not to drink out of their water glasses, not to kiss them on the mouth, to bleach anything that they may have touched that may come in contact with MY mouth or any other part of me. I mean CRAP I cant get sick, I have to work damnit. So far the demon virus has stayed clear of me, I think it knows that I might do something drastic if its decides to take up residence anywhere in or around me, I have bleach and Im not afraid to use it!! Either that or my allergies are so bad (and they are) that nothing can get past it and when it does I sneeze it out so fast it cant take root. Not to mention that my home remedy involves some strong whiskey and since my man quit drinking 3 months ago so did I, now Im not sure what ill do if I get ill. SO on that note, after three days my girl is starting to feel a little better but still not good enough to attend school today, anyone out there got a good flu remedy they'd like to share with a tired mother of a sick 6 year old? I would really love it if she could attend the last day of school? Anyone?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Lacey and her belly bauble...

Okay this is for all of you ladies who are worried about what will happen to your belly-button piercing's while you are pregnant...so, this is Lacey's belly. Lacey is my office clerk who will be having little Kylie Yavonne sometime mid-august. and look it! she can still wear her pretty little belly bauble. So, prego's spruce up that belly and show it off. You too can be a belly bauble wearer.

Here she is folks...isnt she pretty.

In all her splendor and glory the sweet little thing acctually stopped and posed for me.
HA HA Miss Melanie! Neener

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Its a helluva walk but its worth the view...

So, heres what the begining of the walk to the bus stop looks like

then as you round the 1st corner of the hill you see this,

then after the huffing and the puffing you get to the top and voila!

the beautifull Astoria Meglar bridge (I know the name, who picked that?) and the enormous mouth of the Columbia River. And while the view is worth the walk...I usually drive. But still, isnt it awesome? this is what I see out my dining room window, theres a few more houses in my view but who cares, I love it.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Saturday, playing hooky from work.

Okay with good reason, My store is closing and if I dont take my sick time I loose it, Ive been there 3 years and Ive taken 2 sick days, so the chances of me acctually being sick before we close is slim to none. So, I do have good reason...my house is a wreck. This brings me to my question: why is it some women hate housework? why cant I have some of that Monica Geller OCD? I just cant bring myself to do it when faced with one day off here and one day off there. If I did what needed to be done when it needed done my life would literally be work then clean, then work then clean. I would do nothing else. So if I have two days off in a row (which I had to call in sick to get) then I can feel like I got something done AND a little rest as well. I really really want to be one of those women who's brain starts to short-circuit with too much clutter. Who lives in a home where dust never settles or the kitchen floor looks (and feels) like its never needed sweeping. Once I was young and single and I lived alone in a one bedroom apartment with a stereo and a cat, I always had a tidy house. Then there where men in my life and still I managed to keep a tidy house, even when I lived with a single guy as a roommate who bless his heart was a pig. But then I became a mother. When there was only one I managed to maintain some esemblance of order, when there were two it became harder to do...now that they are even older its really really hard to do. It seems that as I am getting one room done and moving to another that if I only turn my head the room I just finished seems to implode on itself as if it has a self-destruct button which activates upon cleaning "this room will detonate in 5, 4, 3...." maybe someday ill be posessed by Martha Stewart (its a good thing) and my whole house will sparkle and shine as if it has a self cleaning feature and no effort at all was needed to maintain its organization and cleanliness, untill then I am doomed to swim in the Ocean that is my own laundry.

Friday, June 02, 2006

My first e-bay purchase ever!

Okay this is the 1st thing I ever bought on e-bay, arent they fabulous? And look, just look at that heal, they were only $10! I was so excited, my 1st on-line purchase. They arrived and I put one on my right foot...soooooooooooo fuckin' cute could not wait to wear them to work the next day. Then, I sat them side by side to admire them, but wait I have them backwards...right on the left, left on the right. So I switched them around...this did not help...they still look funny. I switched'um again, still not right WTF??? then I really start to look at them, my girl Marie was over and shes lookin' at'um funny to. Then almost in unison we both realize the problem and blurt it out...I have TWO RIGHT SHOES! I got my money back, the lady who sold them to me was also duped, she thought they were a size 9 (that IS what the box says size 9) and once she realized they were acctually a 6 she didnt even notice they were two right shoes, and she sold them to me still unknowing. She was really apologetic and all, but I, I am still heartbroken over the shoes and I keep them still because maybe someday Ill find two left shoes and then (gleefull grin) Ill have TWO pairs of these fabulous shoes.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

reasons why I'll never be a mommy blogger

So I just got back from taking Tybalt our 10 week old kitten to my daughters (9 goin' on 19) grade school for a little kitty show and tell before school gets out. All went well, all the kids (even in the halls) were accosting me with oooohhhhhh's and aaaahhhhh's and isnt he cuuuuuuuuuuute's. So I spend a half an hour with the kids, when its all done and the teacher wants to restore peace to the chaos I have created I take the cat and proceed to go, the teacher halts me and thanks me for letting her do the showing and telling as some parents come in and want to play rock stars, ME I walked in plopped the cat in my daughters eager hands and stood at the back of the room hoping I wouldnt have to talk but minimally to other peoples children (not my favorite thing to do) then I left, and heres why I wont ever be a mommmy blogger: on my way home from the school with the cat in my lap I could not stop myself from thinking "I have a little pussy between my legs"
HEH ;}

my picturesque morning

This morning I took my 1st grader up the hill to the bus stop like I do most mornings as she is only 6 till July and I feel she is too young to go alone for now. Im glad this is so, for my morning gives me an absolutley fabulous (anyone remember that show? I miss ab fab) view of the pretty mouth of the Columbia River where it meets the Pacific Ocean, I am busy looking at the river when little girl says "look mamma, a deer!" and I look over and there she is, about 2yrs old standin' right in the middle of the road starin' right at me. And she stood there untill an approaching car made her take a little of the hill next to her but she didnt bolt and instead continued to stare in our direction as if to say "hey, your neat lookin' wanna stare at each other for a while?" She must of stood around for 3 or 4 minutes just letting us watch her. I love it here, I get the river, the Ocean and an abundance of wildlife and all I have to do is take my kid to the bus stop? I do believe I am spoiled. See y'all..ya dont need to be rich to be happy. Or to put it another way...define wealth. I believe I just did.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My cat the sluty slut.

I am a cat person...I am NOT a cat box person. My cat has recently given birth (St. Patties day) and to my great shock and joy she only had one. Now, she is done with little monster and has an appointment to be fixed on 6/8. While we are waiting I have to keep her and the kitten in the house...enter the dreaded cat box. She is not happy about this as all the boys want to play with her and she with them. Heres a little example: a few weeks ago she got out, I only waited a few minutes before I tried to call her inside. She comes running across the yard with not less then 5 male cats trailing her and one of them runs right into the house. Now im standing with door in hand and this cat is close enough for me to kick out the door...I look down at him and say "boy, you best get outa here quick!" This cat acctually looks up at me like "are ya gonna make me? huh? punk? I should probably introduce at this point my dog. I have a large pitbull/wrotwiler/labrador mix, my Romeo. HE is standing across the room staring from the cat to me and back to the cat with his ears perked up in a "cat-chasing" posture and if he could talk (he likes no cats buts ours) he would have said "come on mom, cant I eat this one? he just ran right in the house after my kitty?" So this is what I have to put up with for another week and a half. The male cats howling, Romeo begging to eat them and little sluty sluty the cat (Juliette) that seems to beg "Oh please wont you let me get knocked up again? Maybe Ill have 10 this time."
To see the whole tribe, Romeo Juliette and Tybalt (see a pattern here?) you can click on the Evil King link its a hoot.
On the off chance she gets her wish would anyone one like to pre-order a kitten? anyone?

If you ever have a minute and are feelin' silly...

Go over to my new link (look at me Im a big girl now!) Karen Starr, click on her link and scroll down till you see the big red button with the caption under that says DO NOT PRESS and press it. It will tell you to stop but dont. its funny.

Monday, May 29, 2006

My Alex, the hammer theifling

A few months ago I went out and purchased a hammer. Now, it isnt as though we dont have a hammer, emphasis on the we. Its more like I dont have a hammer. I purchased one that was just right for me being that I am small with small hands. When I brought this hammer home, Alex proceeded to basically laugh and point at my "whoosy girl hammer" so I said fine if you think its so girly then you dont use it. Then I walked said hammer over to the pile of (no joke) things that needed fixing/hanging and set it down next to the little package of finishing nails I has also purchased. Then I forgot about it for the night as it was to late in the evening to hammer anything the girls sleeping and all and I had the next day off with no kids at home to make all the noise I wanted. So the next day comes along and I get everyone out the door and go to tend to my mending. What do I find? no hammer. no nails. (steam rolling out of ears...) Undanted by this I go looking and not finding my new hammer and nails...where could they have gone in the span of 7 hours rest? I look, I dont find. I scrounge up enough nails to get at least the hanging done and I use a wrench to hammer them in with. Untill today I never have found the hammer or the nails. Now I have this really cool hand made Moon to hang with my collection that my MIL brought back from Mexico for me. So I say it out loud "has anyone seen my hammer? you know it disappeared the day I bought it and I havent seen it since.
" Alex: no, havent seen it," (doesnt look up from game).
9 goin' on 19: "here it is mommy, it was in daddy's tool bucket."
Now I look over at him and here he is with a smirky smirk and his head is so far between his shoulders it appears he has no neck. So, I remind him of the laughing and the pointing and all the HE HE HE you bought a girly hammer, this little whoosy thing couldnt hammer anything conversation. I guess right after I set it down, he walked over and forgot all about the little laugh and point episode and his brain went all mmmmmmmmmmm toooooooooooooools (mouth now open, toungue hanging, sound homer makes when spoting doughnuts) and swiped them for his own. LADIES! say it with me now...DUMBASS!
ya piss and moan about your tools so I buy my own and ya steal'um. A girl cant win.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Lil' Abel and the Monestary

there is a Buddist Zen monestary and temple not 45 minutes from my house. I have a cousin who is in some rough shape. Hes kinda lost his mind a little, he claims to be a Jedi (though, not so much recently) Hes been planning on getting himself to Australia where he seems to think he needs to be, not exactly sure why. So, he has pretty much out stayed his welcome everywhere. My man is also in the process of seudo-enlightenment and is the one who stubbled upon the monks in the 1st place. They rise at 3:45am and work untill breakfast, then they meditate for 5 hours, then they have lunch, then a two hour break, then they work till dinner at 8pm then they work till 10pm then its bed time AND they take it day by day. IE: if it works today, you can stay tomorrow.
This is where he is right now, Alex dropped him off yesterday. So I say to him, Abel, I love you, I hope you find what your looking for and I hope you get what you need to be whole.