Recentley...

I've noticed the red shirts, you know the ones that all the proceeds go to help Africans? the ones that read
INSPI(RED)

Well, I think that they should come out with some specifically for Mom's, for example...
TI(RED)
IR(RED)
ANGE(RED)
BO(RED)
SCA(RED)
SCATTE(RED)
TATTE(RED)
BATTE(RED)
SPLATE(RED)
SPA(RED)
SMEA(RED)
FEA(RED)
SMOTHE(RED)
MOTHE(RED)
WEATHE(RED)



Then there's the adult variety...

LU(RED) [spelling changed to suit my own fancy HA!]
TOR(RED) " "
RETI(RED)
FI(RED)
HI(RED)!
MI(RED)
WI(RED)
PAMPE(RED)

That's all I've got folks. If you can think of any please by all means leave it here. I'd love to hear your take on it.

My stinky brat the artist

Drawn, colored, cut and pasted all by looking at a Peter pan video. What potential.

Stinky Brats.

My children such stinky brats.
They complain and they whine and they cry for cats.
They mess up my house,
they break their toys,
they never EVER stop making noise.
They eat all the best stuff out of the fridge,
they'll turn my sweater into a bridge.
Then the next thing you know out of my dining room will sprout,
a chair and blanket sweater mess hide-out.
They're always dirty tracking mud on the floor,
why can't they ever stop slamming the door?
Their elbows are pointy and fit to jab,
they'll sit for hours and blabity blab blab.
They'll argue and bicker and fight fight all night,
all over who has to turn out the light.
they'll hit each other over the head with their books,
or sit just to close giving dirty stinky looks.
They'll stomp and they'll shout if they don't get their way,
I think I might pull my hair out today.
A mother's job is not always fun.
sometimes I wish I could lay in the sun
and not care at all where my children are at,
or what they are doing to the cat.
But alas that life is just not for me,
'Cause I'm a Mom it's the way it's too be,
for even though they are little stinky brats,
I love them with all of my heart and that's that.

Making me feel old...

I signed on to apologize for my lack of attendance to my blog and yours. To explain that low and behold when I started doing tutorial classes 4 hours a day this week I didn't realize that I had taken enough time off work to make sitting and listening to someone talk for 4 hours very exhausting. Then blogger forced me to update which caused panic as I assumed that I'd lose everything and have a lot of work to do. It didn't and it didn't take all that long so I can't even complain about it, quick and easy whew! So I'm whipped people, I am really too tired to simply read a blog. I got three sentences into two interesting blogs and my eyes crossed and the words turned to little bugs that crawled across my screen and they wouldn't get back into their places no matter how hard I rubbed my eyes; writing this seems to be mildly difficult as well. So with that said I am instantly guilt free and a nap is in order, maybe two.

Blah, blah, blah, yakity schmackity...

Okay I got nothin'. I keep thinking up things to write about and then with a big sigh I think, "No, I don't want to talk about it." It's like that with everything for me lately. It's not like I have so little to do that I simply don't have anything to talk about, it's just that I don't feel like talking. It's not as if anything in my life is so exciting or uneventful even it just feels like to much work to discuss. Do you ever feel like that, like you have something to say but it just takes to much energy to say it?

I feel like if it's just going to be small talk then what's the point? It's not just myself I have trouble with lately it's others as well. I'll be reading someone's blog or talking to someone I love about something that would usually interest me and instead I find myself thinking BLAH BLAH BLAH! whatever! Maybe it's a mild case of depression, I have never really experienced it before I don't think so I'm not really sure. It could just be what they call seasonal depression wherein the lack of sunlight for a prolonged period of time brings on a kind of temporary depression that can be cured with a little relaxation and warm sunshine on the face.

So, I guess that all I would need to say then is I need a vacation, maybe on the beach, one with actual sunshine, with no noise perhaps and no men or children. Or at least none that belong to me so I'm not responsible for them. Or nobody, just as good.

The New Barbie Collection...

ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel recently announced the release of
limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Portland and surrounding areas market:

" Vancouver Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Hawthorne Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Hawthorne Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Lake Oswego Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Beaverton Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

" Stark St. Barbie"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

" Clackamas Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

" West Hills Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.

"Pearl District Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Forest Heights Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Galleria. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

" Estacada Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Gresham, Hillsboro, and other outlying suburbs Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top Also available with a mobile home.

Oh hell no people!

My man, my wonderful full of fun, wants US to all have fun with him for he SAYS that he doesn't have as much fun without us, this loving man o' mine wants us to go to the lake today, and b-b-q, and ride what my wonderful miss Melanie affectionately calls the W.M.D. water-bound machine of death. We have a jet ski, and while it is loads of summertime fun, yes even spring time fun if weather permits it is not I repeat NOT a winter time fun event. I just stepped outside to check the mail people and when I got back inside my first reaction was to want to turn up the heat, this is not the sign of someone who wants to go play at the lake and lets not go there with the play in the Lake. No, no, more like wrap up in a blanket on the sofa and watch t.v. or read a book. Of course my children would willingly go tromping into the cold wearing nothing but their bathing suits at the first hint of playing in water, no matter that its like 40 degrees outside, they don't care, they'd go, they'd even get in the lake, THEY WOULD! and they'd play till they were the purple color of corpses and even cry while their lips shivered so bad that their words would have trouble coming out that they didn't want to come out of the water! we don't care if we fr-fr-fr-freeez-z-ze t-t-to death m-m-mom-m-m-ma. So now I have to be the bad guy, 'cause when the Man comes home from working, raining and frickin' cold or not he's gonna want to go play and I will have to remind him of the weather outside and that our small child was running a fever all day yesterday and at risk of getting the stink eye for the rest of the day I'm gonna have to say nuh-uh, sorry, some other day maybe, weather permitting.

Okay...

This is why I love the blogosphere, because were it not for that...then I would not be enlightened to little gems like this. I reeeeeealy need one of these people! Even if its not true MOST of the time. Its certainly true some of the time and when it is, it would surely be nice to be wearing one.
that's all for now.

Not a sports fan...

However, I was just watching the news and I just saw a high school girls basketball team win their game. Nothing special your thinking right? It was the last 5 seconds, the other team missed their free throw, this girl on the other team picks up the ball and from 3/4 of the court away from her basket she hucked the ball, she made it. I was screaming and jumping around in my living room. It was the most awesome play Ive ever seen from high school kids, and their girls HA! and Im not a sports fan.

Quickie

Okay I've added a couple of sites to my list of links, some of my family's my-space accounts. BUT I also have been playing with my account and because of some tips from my sweetie cousins I've figured out how to "pimp" my my-space page, its fun once you get the hang of it. If you click on the Evil's My-space link you get to hear my new favorite song. So if your bored and you something new to do go check it out.
Bu bye

Sorry people...

After discussing the issue with the Dad figure I decided I may have jumped the blog gun so to speak, so the post has been removed.
Somethings should just be kept at home.

If it wasnt so cold Id be playing outside.

I just took my girl up the hill to the bus stop people and the view from up there is absolutely fantastical today. The sky is all pink and dusty blue, the Columbia river looks calm and its a hazy shade of slate blue today. There's this flock of birds that flies from the river's edge to the top of the hill in Astoria, there must be a thousand or more birds in this flock and they fly right over our heads, its incredible. However the downside to all this beauty in Astoria this time of year is that without the clouds the temperature drops like 10 degrees and its starts to freeze your ears off. It looks like its gonna be a bright shiny summer day until you see the frost on the ground, so thick that its almost ice. It would be a beautiful day for the beach if your willing to risk frost bite. I hope where ever you are thats its as nice outside for you as it is here for me.

Finally!!!

Will you look at that, I finally got my computer back. At this rate Ill have a new skill to add to my resume, computer builder. I'm gettin' good, the man and I managed to put it together this time in under an hour and with little help from the mother board manual. Anyway, my update is: I'm still unemployed and am jumping through hoops to stay that way till I can go to school. Its a slow and frustrating process of proving to the state why they should spend their (i.e. my) money on me. The money's there already now I just have to make them see why they should use it to further my education instead of some other schmo. Other than that nothing. Or as much nothing as I can pull off. It frickin' cold outside people. Okay, thats all you get right now, I have 55 e-mails to sort through and half of them want me to pay attention to my my-space account. Phew.
see ya soon.

Holy bad computer mojo batman.

Recently I discovered that there is a goddess called Palikula, she is the goddess of all things cinematic. So if thats so then there must be a goddess of all things computer technical. I need to know who she is. See I believe that I have angered her because I haven't been worshiping her properly. In the last 6 weeks Ive had two major malfunctions and low this $240 later I'm back on-line again. This time it was the video card, Damn the Purge for this I say. I do think that if my man were not such a damn on-line game geek that I wouldn't be having all this trouble. It was the video card that blew up the mother board in the 1st place. However I have to wonder why the damn board could not support one year of high graphics gaming. Because if it couldn't it would stand to reason that ASUS would not warranty their mother boards for that kind of abuse. So I say, WTF?? hmmmm. Ive now replaced the damn video card with the top of the line (I'm told, but what do I know huh?) which incidentally is more costly than a damn hard drive or operating system. Doesn't make much sense to me. So hopefully Ill be back tomorrow with another post. However I am going to go ahead and post my disclaimer now. If I should not return by tomorrow, It inevitably means that I have yet another problem and let it be known now, I have officially spent every dime I have and maxed out both credit cards so that my family might have a nice Christmas and part of that money went to the computer which is to be my husbands only Christmas present this year and if the damn thing blows again you wont be hearing from me until after tax time. So if anyone knows the name of the computer goddess please drop her name in the comments so I might sacrifice something to her in order to make up for my lack of proper homage.

uhhhhhh, ya.

So, Ive had a little blockage goin' on here for a little while, Ive had my computer back for about 5 days now and while the man type person has been monopolizing all of the computer time I haven't been to inclined to bitch about it. I'm super dull these days and my thoughts roam from "I cant remember that last time I washed this" too "Oh my god what is that?" too "which room do I disassemble, disinfect and reassemble today" wanna hear what I found under my kids beds? I think not, yeah a real journalistic genius here folks. BUT at least I have a computer with which to bore you all with when I do have something mundane and droll to say and it only cost me $55 some postage and some patience . P.S. Kris, I am ever so sorry I haven't logged on to My space, I'm still completely illiterate with it and its all I can do to check my e-mail these days. Seems now that I'm not working I'm busier than when I was. But eventually here maybe after Thanksgiving (my parents are coming) I'll get the house completely clean then I can think about school. There Melanie, I posted. However its a yawner. Maybe I'll post tomorrow between the pumpkin pie cooking and the deviled egg recipe I plan to create. Since my father is the reigning deviled egg king and master I have to try to master the art myself. Someone has to carry on the family legacy.

So, I got my new mother board...

However, it looks like the computer it self was the problem and we are swiftly playing process of alimination to try to find the original problem that caused the motherboard to fry. I would allready have reformated my computer were it not for the precious pics I have downloaded that I am currently trying to extract BUT my click/drag functions don't seem to be responding, so its proving difficult to accomplish. My next step is to e-mail all my files to myself in order to save what I cant extract. I just wanted to stop by briefly to let anyone who would care to know that I love and miss all of you and your blogs and as soon as I can stop worrying about my computer crashing I plan on posting my "why I would not continue working for McMahan's Furniture" post and will also be spending an entire day reading all and I do mean ALL of the posts on my blog roll list that I've missed while I've been away.
Love you all,
Love Evil.

A Short Note

My computer is down. The motherboard is toast, but it's under warranty, so we're getting a new one. It's a ten-day turnaround, and we're mailing it tomorrow, so you can expect me to post again in under two weeks. Seeya soon!

Bad Table

The beauty of working in a furniture store is that company send you their magazines to try to get the company to buy and sell their merchandise, every now and then you get a little gem of a giggle like this one;



This is called Bad Table, and Im sure you can see why. This is an acctual table that you can purchase and I assume set up in your living room and I guess use it for a cocktail table.
HA! this is THE funniest piece of merch I have ever seen, and I really needed that giggle today.

Update on the KOOL- AID pie

Okay so it was like 9:30pm and the kitchen lighting was not so good but here we have the KOOL-AID pie that I posted the recipe for on the post down below. My 10 year old daughter made this and while its very, very rich it was delicious and so easy. We also determined that this pie filling could be a very good frosting with a little variation, like instead of using KOOL-AID you could ad cocoa. While its rich for pie filling its acctually lighter and less sweet than canned frosting and sets up just as well. The flower pattern with the fruit was my daughters idea and it came out really cute. Try the pie, its really good.

The Abominable Snow Man.

One day about 15 years ago Miss Melanie and I were roomates in this big 'ol run down house. During the winter that year, must have been February, it snowed. It started to snow and it didnt stop for 3 days. In Portland that's a long time for snow. It also hung around for about two weeks after this. Miss Melanie was working for this little chicken place in the mall and I being bored and an overly worrisome teen when it pertained to Miss Melanie decided to take the bus with her to work and I would play at the mall while she worked her shift and then we would head back home together. It took us 1 1/2 hours to get the 2 miles to the mall, usually a 10 minute bus ride.
And again on the way back same thing, very elongated bus ride that should have only taken a fraction of the time it did take. Now, from the bus stop to our house is a 10 block walk (through the snow) and at the end of said jaunt was a large park between us and the house making up the last 3 blocks of our walk. We, Melanie and I, get to that park and proceed to cross it to get home, shivering and lips blue, noses bright red, lungs burning from so much inhaled cold air, eyelashes begining to form small ice crystals. On the far side of the park is a man and his wife and their two small children and he is having a gas chasing them all around and throwing snow balls at them while they squeal with glee. Just as Melanie and I notice this and comment on how sweet they all look he turns...he spots US...and then the strangest thing, he starts to roar...in our direction. I look at her she looks at me, we start to giggle. THEN he raises his hands over his head flailing his arms about, he starts to roar even louder, he starts towards us, slow at first then faster, then he's running at full speed with a snow ball in each hand and roaring, LOUD. We still teenagers after all scream at the top of our lungs and start running at full speed toward the house. He is still in pursuit when the two of us collapse not two feet from the door laughing till we cant breath. As I sit up to catch my breath I realize, The Abominable snow man is laughing too. Holding his guts and rolling around in the snow laughing. Aparantly we had been made honorary Abominable snow kids so we didnt feel all left out and stuff.