Thursday, February 28, 2008

Its sunny and warm here today in fair Astoria.

Two days in a row now! And to think just two hours ago it was crappy and the sidewalk was wet with what I will assume was rain though I didn't actually see it happen so I can't be sure.

Things have returned back to semi-normal since The Evil King lost his Dear Father. However he hasn't fully grieved what with all the family business that takes place when a family member passes. He is the soul provider for this family and while on the one hand I feel slightly guilty for that, it also maybe whats keeping him from falling completely apart.

You see, I have a morbid sense of death. I don't grieve long and usually the grieving is about how bad those around me feel. I feel sadder for them than over the loss of the dead and the pain I feel is for them. Death is just a start to something new and better and usually an end to something painful or some kind of suffering.

So, heartlessly I forget about the sadness and move on with the living I've been left here to do, because after all what can one do but continue on living? But I forget that others around me are not as good at letting go as I am, how do I help him process his grief? Will it process itself? Like they say, it will just hit you at some point, you'll be driving or online at the grocery store and there it will manifest itself, the grief. The pain of your emotional self finally getting the message, the last one figuratively to get the proverbial phone call.

So I listen, whenever the mood strikes him to tell me...anything, I just listen. I tell him I love him and how he's my favorite boy in the whole world. How I'm so lucky to be loved by him so much and all that that implies. So here's to tomorrow being another sunny day and the pain being a little further away than today.