To My Mother

I love you. You are the sun and the moon. You are my friend, my counselar, my nurse, my favorite person to shock or to make laugh...I never know which one I'll get which is why you are my favorite. You are my rescuer and my executioner. You loved me and nurtured me even when I didn't deserve it. Your love was always unconditional and it remains so with my daughters and I would'nt be who I am today if it were'nt for you and the way you are. You always have a smile even when your sad. I love you and someday my daughters will be grown women and I hope they still look up to me and love me they way I do you.
I love you Mommy.
Love Neicie

So, it comes to this...

I have to drive clear to Portland to use a computer, check my e-mail and do my blogging. AND then when I finally get to a computer that works I find I have writers block ( or what ever they call it when you suck at writing) and can't think of anything to say. So...in honor of my dearest and oldest (really ) friend in the whole entire universe I dedicate this post to miss Melanie in Oregon as it is her 33rd birthday and the 19th year that I've known her. So I'll tell you about the first time I saw the girl.
I was sitting in my freshman english class feeling really self conscietous as I had spent the first week of school in disneyland and absolutley noone knew who the hell I was. This however was not to deture me as I was not going to spend the year feeling like that, when in walks this girl, jeans and a jacket that matched, and blond hair hanging just so as to hide anything that might be underneath it. She sat down next to me with hair still hanging, I leaned down so I could catch her eye and said HI!! I'm Denise, whats your name? here we are 19 years later with so much history in between we could write a book, make you laugh, cry, gasp, sigh, love, despair, hope and so much more.
Happy Birthday Miss Melanie, I love you.

Okay people!! This is my 100th post...

And in honor of this occasion I am posting a little bit of art,


This one's for you Melanie!!!

*LOST* update

NO!, we still don't know Jack diddley squat!!!

I say they don't have a frickin' clue what's going on from week to week anymore than we do.

It's alien's.

OH MY GOD PEOPLE!!!!!

Will the cast of LOST finally figure out who the Dharma initiative are?

Will they finally know who the OTHERS are and where the hell they come from?

Will the producers of this show finally after 3 DAMN YEARS! tell us what the fuck is going on?

Do they even know?

unanswered questions of the universe...tune in tomorrow when we will hear our author inevitably say WTF??????

Female comeback's for the Male pickup lines

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together


I've actually used #4 HA!

Okay, what was Pavlov's dog's name?

'Cause it should be mine.

Do you remember the mash potatoes and gravy that they served at your grade school? Well, I remember mine, it was instant mash taters and this clear to yellow gravy with little chunks of hamburger. Every time they would serve this dish it would waft down to my classroom inevitably about 30 minutes before lunch. The smell would turn on the rumble in my tummy rendering my brain incapable of doing anything but keep my mouth from drooling. Okay these classes I've been taking? same damn thing. I'm not sure its the above dish that I smell but it's something that at least smells just like it. Somebody eats that at least 3 times a week and always the smell hits me about 30 minutes before its time for lunch and my stomach starts to talk too loud and my brain just shuts right off. Makes me wants to drive down to the nearest grade school, walk into the cafeteria and demand my instant mashers w/hamburger gravy. However, all of this makes for one great thing, that I can now smell food again means that I'll soon be over this sickness I'm afflicted with right now. YEAH FOR SMELL!!!!!

Recentley...

I've noticed the red shirts, you know the ones that all the proceeds go to help Africans? the ones that read
INSPI(RED)

Well, I think that they should come out with some specifically for Mom's, for example...
TI(RED)
IR(RED)
ANGE(RED)
BO(RED)
SCA(RED)
SCATTE(RED)
TATTE(RED)
BATTE(RED)
SPLATE(RED)
SPA(RED)
SMEA(RED)
FEA(RED)
SMOTHE(RED)
MOTHE(RED)
WEATHE(RED)



Then there's the adult variety...

LU(RED) [spelling changed to suit my own fancy HA!]
TOR(RED) " "
RETI(RED)
FI(RED)
HI(RED)!
MI(RED)
WI(RED)
PAMPE(RED)

That's all I've got folks. If you can think of any please by all means leave it here. I'd love to hear your take on it.

My stinky brat the artist

Drawn, colored, cut and pasted all by looking at a Peter pan video. What potential.

Stinky Brats.

My children such stinky brats.
They complain and they whine and they cry for cats.
They mess up my house,
they break their toys,
they never EVER stop making noise.
They eat all the best stuff out of the fridge,
they'll turn my sweater into a bridge.
Then the next thing you know out of my dining room will sprout,
a chair and blanket sweater mess hide-out.
They're always dirty tracking mud on the floor,
why can't they ever stop slamming the door?
Their elbows are pointy and fit to jab,
they'll sit for hours and blabity blab blab.
They'll argue and bicker and fight fight all night,
all over who has to turn out the light.
they'll hit each other over the head with their books,
or sit just to close giving dirty stinky looks.
They'll stomp and they'll shout if they don't get their way,
I think I might pull my hair out today.
A mother's job is not always fun.
sometimes I wish I could lay in the sun
and not care at all where my children are at,
or what they are doing to the cat.
But alas that life is just not for me,
'Cause I'm a Mom it's the way it's too be,
for even though they are little stinky brats,
I love them with all of my heart and that's that.

Making me feel old...

I signed on to apologize for my lack of attendance to my blog and yours. To explain that low and behold when I started doing tutorial classes 4 hours a day this week I didn't realize that I had taken enough time off work to make sitting and listening to someone talk for 4 hours very exhausting. Then blogger forced me to update which caused panic as I assumed that I'd lose everything and have a lot of work to do. It didn't and it didn't take all that long so I can't even complain about it, quick and easy whew! So I'm whipped people, I am really too tired to simply read a blog. I got three sentences into two interesting blogs and my eyes crossed and the words turned to little bugs that crawled across my screen and they wouldn't get back into their places no matter how hard I rubbed my eyes; writing this seems to be mildly difficult as well. So with that said I am instantly guilt free and a nap is in order, maybe two.

Blah, blah, blah, yakity schmackity...

Okay I got nothin'. I keep thinking up things to write about and then with a big sigh I think, "No, I don't want to talk about it." It's like that with everything for me lately. It's not like I have so little to do that I simply don't have anything to talk about, it's just that I don't feel like talking. It's not as if anything in my life is so exciting or uneventful even it just feels like to much work to discuss. Do you ever feel like that, like you have something to say but it just takes to much energy to say it?

I feel like if it's just going to be small talk then what's the point? It's not just myself I have trouble with lately it's others as well. I'll be reading someone's blog or talking to someone I love about something that would usually interest me and instead I find myself thinking BLAH BLAH BLAH! whatever! Maybe it's a mild case of depression, I have never really experienced it before I don't think so I'm not really sure. It could just be what they call seasonal depression wherein the lack of sunlight for a prolonged period of time brings on a kind of temporary depression that can be cured with a little relaxation and warm sunshine on the face.

So, I guess that all I would need to say then is I need a vacation, maybe on the beach, one with actual sunshine, with no noise perhaps and no men or children. Or at least none that belong to me so I'm not responsible for them. Or nobody, just as good.

The New Barbie Collection...

ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel recently announced the release of
limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Portland and surrounding areas market:

" Vancouver Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Hawthorne Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Hawthorne Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Lake Oswego Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Beaverton Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

" Stark St. Barbie"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

" Clackamas Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

" West Hills Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.

"Pearl District Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Forest Heights Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Galleria. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

" Estacada Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Gresham, Hillsboro, and other outlying suburbs Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top Also available with a mobile home.

Oh hell no people!

My man, my wonderful full of fun, wants US to all have fun with him for he SAYS that he doesn't have as much fun without us, this loving man o' mine wants us to go to the lake today, and b-b-q, and ride what my wonderful miss Melanie affectionately calls the W.M.D. water-bound machine of death. We have a jet ski, and while it is loads of summertime fun, yes even spring time fun if weather permits it is not I repeat NOT a winter time fun event. I just stepped outside to check the mail people and when I got back inside my first reaction was to want to turn up the heat, this is not the sign of someone who wants to go play at the lake and lets not go there with the play in the Lake. No, no, more like wrap up in a blanket on the sofa and watch t.v. or read a book. Of course my children would willingly go tromping into the cold wearing nothing but their bathing suits at the first hint of playing in water, no matter that its like 40 degrees outside, they don't care, they'd go, they'd even get in the lake, THEY WOULD! and they'd play till they were the purple color of corpses and even cry while their lips shivered so bad that their words would have trouble coming out that they didn't want to come out of the water! we don't care if we fr-fr-fr-freeez-z-ze t-t-to death m-m-mom-m-m-ma. So now I have to be the bad guy, 'cause when the Man comes home from working, raining and frickin' cold or not he's gonna want to go play and I will have to remind him of the weather outside and that our small child was running a fever all day yesterday and at risk of getting the stink eye for the rest of the day I'm gonna have to say nuh-uh, sorry, some other day maybe, weather permitting.

Okay...

This is why I love the blogosphere, because were it not for that...then I would not be enlightened to little gems like this. I reeeeeealy need one of these people! Even if its not true MOST of the time. Its certainly true some of the time and when it is, it would surely be nice to be wearing one.
that's all for now.

Not a sports fan...

However, I was just watching the news and I just saw a high school girls basketball team win their game. Nothing special your thinking right? It was the last 5 seconds, the other team missed their free throw, this girl on the other team picks up the ball and from 3/4 of the court away from her basket she hucked the ball, she made it. I was screaming and jumping around in my living room. It was the most awesome play Ive ever seen from high school kids, and their girls HA! and Im not a sports fan.

Quickie

Okay I've added a couple of sites to my list of links, some of my family's my-space accounts. BUT I also have been playing with my account and because of some tips from my sweetie cousins I've figured out how to "pimp" my my-space page, its fun once you get the hang of it. If you click on the Evil's My-space link you get to hear my new favorite song. So if your bored and you something new to do go check it out.
Bu bye

Sorry people...

After discussing the issue with the Dad figure I decided I may have jumped the blog gun so to speak, so the post has been removed.
Somethings should just be kept at home.

If it wasnt so cold Id be playing outside.

I just took my girl up the hill to the bus stop people and the view from up there is absolutely fantastical today. The sky is all pink and dusty blue, the Columbia river looks calm and its a hazy shade of slate blue today. There's this flock of birds that flies from the river's edge to the top of the hill in Astoria, there must be a thousand or more birds in this flock and they fly right over our heads, its incredible. However the downside to all this beauty in Astoria this time of year is that without the clouds the temperature drops like 10 degrees and its starts to freeze your ears off. It looks like its gonna be a bright shiny summer day until you see the frost on the ground, so thick that its almost ice. It would be a beautiful day for the beach if your willing to risk frost bite. I hope where ever you are thats its as nice outside for you as it is here for me.

Finally!!!

Will you look at that, I finally got my computer back. At this rate Ill have a new skill to add to my resume, computer builder. I'm gettin' good, the man and I managed to put it together this time in under an hour and with little help from the mother board manual. Anyway, my update is: I'm still unemployed and am jumping through hoops to stay that way till I can go to school. Its a slow and frustrating process of proving to the state why they should spend their (i.e. my) money on me. The money's there already now I just have to make them see why they should use it to further my education instead of some other schmo. Other than that nothing. Or as much nothing as I can pull off. It frickin' cold outside people. Okay, thats all you get right now, I have 55 e-mails to sort through and half of them want me to pay attention to my my-space account. Phew.
see ya soon.