Bad Table

The beauty of working in a furniture store is that company send you their magazines to try to get the company to buy and sell their merchandise, every now and then you get a little gem of a giggle like this one;



This is called Bad Table, and Im sure you can see why. This is an acctual table that you can purchase and I assume set up in your living room and I guess use it for a cocktail table.
HA! this is THE funniest piece of merch I have ever seen, and I really needed that giggle today.

Update on the KOOL- AID pie

Okay so it was like 9:30pm and the kitchen lighting was not so good but here we have the KOOL-AID pie that I posted the recipe for on the post down below. My 10 year old daughter made this and while its very, very rich it was delicious and so easy. We also determined that this pie filling could be a very good frosting with a little variation, like instead of using KOOL-AID you could ad cocoa. While its rich for pie filling its acctually lighter and less sweet than canned frosting and sets up just as well. The flower pattern with the fruit was my daughters idea and it came out really cute. Try the pie, its really good.

The Abominable Snow Man.

One day about 15 years ago Miss Melanie and I were roomates in this big 'ol run down house. During the winter that year, must have been February, it snowed. It started to snow and it didnt stop for 3 days. In Portland that's a long time for snow. It also hung around for about two weeks after this. Miss Melanie was working for this little chicken place in the mall and I being bored and an overly worrisome teen when it pertained to Miss Melanie decided to take the bus with her to work and I would play at the mall while she worked her shift and then we would head back home together. It took us 1 1/2 hours to get the 2 miles to the mall, usually a 10 minute bus ride.
And again on the way back same thing, very elongated bus ride that should have only taken a fraction of the time it did take. Now, from the bus stop to our house is a 10 block walk (through the snow) and at the end of said jaunt was a large park between us and the house making up the last 3 blocks of our walk. We, Melanie and I, get to that park and proceed to cross it to get home, shivering and lips blue, noses bright red, lungs burning from so much inhaled cold air, eyelashes begining to form small ice crystals. On the far side of the park is a man and his wife and their two small children and he is having a gas chasing them all around and throwing snow balls at them while they squeal with glee. Just as Melanie and I notice this and comment on how sweet they all look he turns...he spots US...and then the strangest thing, he starts to roar...in our direction. I look at her she looks at me, we start to giggle. THEN he raises his hands over his head flailing his arms about, he starts to roar even louder, he starts towards us, slow at first then faster, then he's running at full speed with a snow ball in each hand and roaring, LOUD. We still teenagers after all scream at the top of our lungs and start running at full speed toward the house. He is still in pursuit when the two of us collapse not two feet from the door laughing till we cant breath. As I sit up to catch my breath I realize, The Abominable snow man is laughing too. Holding his guts and rolling around in the snow laughing. Aparantly we had been made honorary Abominable snow kids so we didnt feel all left out and stuff.

Kool-aid Pie.

1 small package of orange Kool-aid
1 small can sweentened condensed milk.
1 8oz tub of whip cream.
1 grahm cracker crust.
1 small can manderin oranges.

mix 1st three ingredients together and pour into grahm cracker crust.
garnish with oranges.

this recipe can be altered w/any of your favourite flavors of Kool-aid and any fruit you choose as a garnish.
I think strawberry Kool-aid with strawberries for garnish would be fantabulous.
OOOH or tropical fruit with fruit cocktail garnish, oh the possibilities are endless.

Happy day

So, a little quickie.
Today is my cousin Stacy's birthday and I just wanted to put out a little message.
Happy Birthday little cousin!
I love you.

What kind of weather are you?

This was fun.
Im lightning, beautifull but dangerous. People stop to watch me even though Im capable of great violence.

Oh this is hilarious.

I so have to have this Tee shirt.

My cat, The dog.

So, I ran out of dog food yesterday so I got a small bag of dog food to tide over the pooch untill I get paid this week and can go to the feed store on the outskirts of town, Now my oldest cat is very tired of her kitten (now almost as big as she is) sniffing around her ass and has decided to come home only rarely. So to entice her to stay close to home I bought her some wet cat food. To be nice I devided the first can I opened (salmon flavor, Melanie you are no cat if you dont like salmon) between the two of them, Juliette practically growled with pleasure when I dumped it into her bowl. Tybalt, the wiley kitten took one look at the "not dog food" and looked up at me with this "WTF? is this shit" look and would not touch it. I had to run some errands so I left him to buck up figure it out and eat the damn expensive cat food I lavished upon him. I came home to him crying CRYING PEOPLE! over his food as if it were satan himself in the dish. Low and behold when I conceded and put dry dog food in the dish he devoured it with relish. The wet food is still in the dish untouched, he ate the dry food and left the wet. So be it. Dog food for you cat-dog.

I'm tagging myself.

Because my "Honor" is in question. (not really)

I am: A really good listener.

I want: To get away from from this job with my original hair color.

I have: No Idea what I have. A clear indication that spring cleaning is far overdue.

I wish: I had my own house, with its own yard where my bedroom is further away from my kids bedroom.

I hate: To imagine not ever having a place to call mine.

I miss: Little Bill.

I hear: My friends are going to Costa Rica next month and am very jealous that Im not going with them.

I wonder: Where I'll be in ten years.

I regret: Not buying that dress at country fair when I had the chance.

I am not: Ever, ever ever ever, going to another one of those fucking "camp outs" at a certain persons property that I will not name here.

I dance: Whenever or where-ever the music moves me.

I sing: As long as no one is listening except my kids 'cause their the only ears I dont offend with it.

I cry: Over sappy old movies, T.V. shows and sentimental commercials.

I am not always: As friendly as I act.

I make with my hands: This recipe of my great grandma's called butterscotch candy that my Man has lovingly named CRACK 'cause its that addictive.

I write: Very little and not very well.

I confuse: My children every single time they ask me what is for dinner.

I need: A BREAK!!! and the return of my sanity.

I start: Craft projects that I dont finish.

I finnish: This meme that no-one acctually tagged me for.

and there you have it.

My daughter the artist

So, this particular talent comes from her father who is a fantabulous artist, if I could get him to draw I would post them here all the time, but alas he likes him the online games these days. But he did pass on the wonder of talent to my children and I must post it here. She drew this free hand (my oldest child), she tells me "Momma, I didnt really draw this 'cause I had to look at the picture while I was drawing but I didnt trace it." Such modesty, I cant draw this good if I do trace it. Isnt she wonderfull.

Dog attacks his own foot

because its trying to get his bone.
This is the funniest pet video Ive seen in a very long time.
You have to click on the underlined word in this here blog to get to the link,
my colors dont make the links all that clear. Go see, you wont regret it.

Evil Drama Queen

So, after two days of sleep (for me and the truck) all is well, my truck started right up no problem (WTF?) and I woke up not feeling as though I was going to burst into tears. So, Ill probably still get to attend my cousins wedding and so will also get a birthday.
I guess Im just a whiner.

depression cont'

I just want to add that I had so much more to say to explain all the ways the universe has once again singled me out but as I said below blogger keeps giving me the finger and now I feel to tired depressed and exausted to say any of it. Other than this, fuck it all, Im goin' to bed and Im only gettin' up when I absolutley have too. (i.e. to take the girls to school, to WALK myself to work.) Maybe I can just sleep through this little episode and when I wake up there'll be a prince and dwarves and....

Depression.

So, here it is closer to the end of my employment and I thought everything would be falling into place. I went out saturday night with my girlfriend Marie. Aparently the universe has determined that I am not allowed to have fun. As I was pulling my truck up to my house, two parking spaces away from mine and the truck died. I mean D-I-E-D all power gone, power stearing gone, all dead. Its like doom has once again started towards me with his outstreched boney finger and is preparing to tap me (once again) on the shoulder. Folks, I have had my fair share of this. I thought it was all over, that I had moved past that place in my life where things are so unstable that it could all come crashing down in an instant. I was wrong. At least now Im old enough to see the signs of it early enough to steal myself from it. This all comes at a most inoppertune time. I have a wedding to go to that Im prbably gonna have to bag out of now, which means also, no birthday for Evil, and I thought this was gonna be my lucky birthday starting my lucky year. seems not so, and now I just got a message from blogger saying its having trouble and this post may not even publish. Im gonna go cry.