Storm Art

My wonderful man took this picture somewhere in Aberdeen Wa. I think. This is what the area looks like still after the big storm we had back in December, quite beautiful though.

To Rosebud on her 14th Birthday

I remember a time when there was only a Rosebud. When you were the only little girl in my world.

At this very moment 14 years ago I was, along with your father, pacing the floor waiting for your arrival.

Later,
sitting in my little apartment in South East Portland your Mother and I were singing a little, no song just humming. I sang a note, your mother sang in with the harmony and out of no where you chimed in with the third part to the harmony, totally blew me away.

Then farther along, sometime around your first birthday your Mother and Grandmother were throwing a glass party and I showed up late. I quickly made my way to where you sat in your grandmother's lap and made myself comfortable on the floor next to the two of you when you leaned as far toward me as you could, reached for me and then climbed into my lap where you sat for the rest of the party, pointing out objects and making sure I was paying attention to you while now and then patting your Grandmother's arm as if to let her know that you still loved her even though you had chosen my lap over hers.

And now you are a tall, strong, beautiful young lady and I love you ever so much and wish you the Happiest of Birthday's ever

Love Auntie Evil.

uhggghhh...

You ever have one of those days (or two) that you just can't seem to get it together and be nice? I know a few of my readers are like this.

I'm usually pretty good natured right from the start in the morning, now that's not to say that I'm all "yippee skippy chippy" or anything but I'm also not a grouch; I can even manage to be sweet natured in the morning.

However about every three months or so (startin' to think it's got somethin' to do with season changes) I get in a little bit of a funk. I need a little tolerance. I am not a super bitch from hell or anything but I pretty much loose my sense of humor and I might be a tad sensitive but over the years I have come to terms with this trait in myself and I try very hard when I'm feeling this way not to take it out on other people because in reality there is no real reason that I can pinpoint for this (A tiny spider just dropped down in front of me and seems to be reading my blog) other than it seems to coincide with the seasons changing .

So, here's my point. My wonderful Man, (he's still there! the tiny spider!) the one that takes care of me and pays all the bills can be a real...lets call it a bear (the spider just realized I was sitting here and is now climbing back up it's web) and I am...well... a master at tolerating this and not causing a fight or get offended over anything he says (OKAY! now he's on the desk...time to die) but then I have these little funks and it gets really hard to do. He even said "most of the time your so sweet and today and yesterday your well...not. (SQUISH! he's dead.)

Why can't a girl get a little slack, huh? why can't a girl have two days maybe three to not be the sweetest wife and Mom in the world? at 5 a.m.? everyday except Sunday? I mean I am the EVIL QUEEN! damn it.

Today all I want to do is sleep, I felt this way yesterday too. I didn't. I got out of the house. I saw a friend, we walked downtown, we had coffee, today we discovered that my favorite coffee house has an upstairs where we can go sit and people watch. Didn't know that was there. Totally awesome!

So, you see it's not as if I've been shut up in my house crying into my coffee. I'm fightin' off whatever demon this is tryin' to jump on my back and chew on my neck and if it's not to much to ask I'd like ya ta ease up offa me 'bout it. k? thnx bye

This just left the house...

And she was dressed like a little lady in clothes she picked out herself, with her hair quite sophisticated looking that she did all by herself, with her danglely earrings that she didn't need help putting on.

She's not my little baby any more.

She's a very small lady kid.

And she is so beautiful she takes my breath away.

Good Lord...

Look what I found whilst cleaning out one of only two closets in the house.....




HOLY SHIT! That's some poke your eye right the fuck out crispy hair right there folks.

Don't judge me, we were young and it's was the 90's. The whole thing is funny to me, the us in the glass, the rose the hair the cheesyness of it all.

Happy Birthday to My Mother-in-Law

Honestly no girl could be luckier than I to have a woman this cool for a Mother-in-Law, I mean on average how many woman can say "I have a wonderful relationship with my Husband's Mother" I mean really? Well I can and I do.

I Love you Bonnie, Happy Birthday!

It's St. Patrick's Day...

It is also my cat's 2nd birthday,

Happy Birthday Prince Tybalt.

What the hell...Here it is...me 1st thing in the Morning.

Because I'm crazy I'm gonna go ahead and post this pic

Here are the other Blogs I know of that posted pic as well

sweetney

cami kaos

Evil Queen

okay and I'm a tard and those are the only ones I know of. And no one laughs at the Medusa hair!

snipets of conversation...

him - "how did you know my feet hurt so bad?"

me - shrug

him - "I could laugh all the way to hell if you were rubbing my feet"

me - "we might end there together, you never know"

him - "are you kidding? if we were going to hell I would have made sure we had something to
show for it...I'm not that stupid."

Make St. Patrick's day an official Holiday.

O'kay so Guinness needs one million signatures by midnight on March 16th to bring this before congress so go here and sign the petition, their already up to or rather only up to like 227,000 or something.

Make St. Patrick's day an official Holiday people!!!




*UPDATE Saturday, March 15 12:50 p.m.*

They now have over 2 MILLION signatures and they still have more than 24 hours left. YEAH!!

Here I sit broken hearted...

I was trying to relax (read blogs) when the fighting started.

Cup o' Joe in one hand, mouse in the other,

Somedays I think why did I want to be a Mother?

"SHUT UP" she screamed,

"IDIOT" she cried.

Would it be so horrible if I pretend that I've died?

And What Melodious words I do hear?

Like beautiful poetry to a Mother's ear?

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, YOUR SO STUPID"

"SHUT UP I SAID YOU STUPID POOP-HEAD"

It makes a Mother's heart swell with such pride, to hear her young daughters sweetly confide;

"YOUR THE WORST SISTER IN THE WORLD, YOU HURT ME INSIDE."

"YEAH, WELL I HATE YOU, I'M GLAD THAT YOU CRIED."

If I didn't have dishes from a week ago, I'd run away to Mexico.

Would it be child abuse if...

I wrapped duct tape all the way around their heads so that it covers up their stink mouths and their hair? I mean it's not as if they couldn't get it off. I didn't say anything about their hands, they could get it off if they wanted to, they just wouldn't want to 'cause it would hurt (heh)

My children are out of school today, Parent/Teacher conferences. Mine are over the phone. Thing is they only have them scheduled for Thursday but the kids have Thurs/Fri off and to this I say WTFBBQ I think if they're not going to use both days for conferences that they should not have two days for it. I mean it's not like this school ( my cousin is a school teacher so I have to be carefull ) has a shortage of days off or anything. They have at LEAST two days off a month every month save June which only consists of two weeks. They just couldn't justify squeezing in days off when there are only ten or so.

Plus! they get out an hour early every Thursday so the teacher's can...well...I'm not sure exactly. Grade papers, get caught up, better assess their student needs is what I think they said. But they also scheduled conferences for two days and are only using one so I don't know what to believe.

Anyway, All this means is that I have to deal with two small girls who seems to hate each other most of the time. Hopefully someday they will love each other and stop making want to duct tape them together for my own sanity.

Oh the joy, the rapture...

The wonderousness that is the C.C. Filson Co. where I found this.




Nuff' said.

Bleh!

Running away to Mexico sounds so good right now.

I AM a bad ass...that's right kiddies TAKE THAT!

22

Understating the obvious...

Arcata Eye, a must read...here are some examples

• Saturday, February 9 8:22 p.m. It could be called aggressive panhandling, standing at Samoa Boulevard and G Street and trying to stop traffic to ask drivers for money. It could also be called bumper pool.

11:57 p.m. There was no one home in the 1500 block of Beverly Drive, and any effect of the officer’s business card may have had on the endlessly barking dog was not measurable by current scientific instrumentation.

4:30 p.m. Two boys opened the door to the porta-potty at the skate park and threw in lit matches.

5:55 p.m. A customer came out of a Westwood Center shop to find that someone had locked their bicycle to hers.

7:43 a.m. A car was broken into on Iverson Avenue and subjected to severe rummaging. And yet, nothing was taken.

8:01 a.m. The same thing happened on Villa Way, with valuable items fondled but not taken.

9:26 a.m. A red mountain bike was stuffed into a porta-potty at the Community Center, presumably for entertainment purposes.

9:55 a.m. The windows on a shovel loader were painted over on Fifth Street. This occurred two months previous, but the victim reported it just now because of the news stories about APD catching all the vandalism suspects lately. Maybe...?

10:38 a.m. Over to Daniels Street, where a car in a driveway was rummage-rifled and nothing taken.

11:27 a.m. Another car, this one inside an open garage on Daniels Street, was gutted of goodies.

11:51 a.m. Another bonus bag o’ cannabis “stems and unusable” was found at a Uniontown shopping center.

4:12 p.m. The first political sign of election year was stolen from a front yard on California Avenue. Aw geez, here we go.

5:05 a.m. A man was reported trying to light a Plaza building on fire, and police raced to the scene. What they found was a guy on the southeast corner of the Plaza trying to kill a spider on the wall.

8:06 a.m. An Alliance Road youth refused to get outta bed and go to school. Police intervention was somehow averted.

10:45 a.m. And our lives just wouldn’t be complete without the streetcorner traveler yelling obscenities on the Plaza, turning the leisurely croissant noshing at a nearby bistro into a thing of horror.

• Valentine’s Day 1:25 a.m. A woman walking to work in the 900 block of G Street said she had been subjected to racial slurs. The alleged slurrer denied it, but lashed the police officer with verbal abuse as he walked away.

8:01 a.m. Someone parked a car in the intersection of 27th Street and Alliance Road and walked away. Police pushed it to the side of the road.

It never ceases to amaze me the comedy that seems to ensue daily in Arcata California.

Dear Sweetney,

Where have you gone to? You are one of my top 5 favs!!! (psst top 5 not listed in any order) When I click on your link now it does this go here and I am SO BUMMED OUT ABOUT IT! WTFBBQ over.

And I'm not all web geeky like all the rest ( most of the rest) of you are and I haven't the first clue how to go about finding you again. I know that you have or had another web site out there but I can't for the life of me remember what it was.

Well, I guess my next stop is dooce I know the two of you are buds and while I know I haven't the snowballs chance in hell of asking her where for art thou is my Sweetney I can only hope that from her I will find a clue to your whereabouts.

Thank You for your time,

Sincerely,

Evil.

*Update*

So for whatever reason my template decided to drop the www from my sweetney link making it impossible for me to get into the site. Not sure why it did that (thanks Mel, I wouldn't have thought to look there for a long time) wasn't even messing with that link or anything near it for that matter, oh well it's fixed now celebrity none the wiser.

Once upon a time I had a life all of my own...

It was completely separate from all that I know and love today. I had a one bedroom apartment and a stereo, no t.v. no car and a cat. I worked full time, had no boyfriend to speak of but I had friends.

I had friends all over the place, I had a friend with her man and her new baby across town, I had a "friend" from work who lived across the river from me (wink) I had a girlfriend across that same river that I had alot of fun with, I had several friends incarcerated that I was writing letters back and forth to.

Which brings me to todays post. When I was twenty-one I had my pictures taken at Glamour Shots. Does anyone remember that mall based franchise? Go in get glammed, get snapped, pay alot. Well I did it. But I'm glad I did it cause this is what I have to show for it.




Nice no? I thought so at the time, and now that I am 13 years older I'm glad I have this to look upon and think I WAS hot! yeah! anyway...When I had this done I sent a pic to my incarcerated friend.

I then discovered that when people get locked up they get bored, have a lot of time on their hands and they find they have talent they didn't know they had...for instance art. This becomes something of value, not everyone can draw; no matter how much time on their hands.

So my then friend had this done, or someone did this for him I don't know but he sent it to me...


Not bad I say for a novice in jail. In my humble opinion that is. It's not perfect but it's good.
I was going through some things looking for a certain picture that is not this one and I happened to stumble on this, a flood of old memories came back to me. It thumped me on the head so to speak. Now that I'm a wife and mother stepping back into my "Single girl in the city" persona was to say the least melancholy.

Aww to be young and Twenty-one again. If I only that girl in the picture up there knew then what I know now...

So close, so very very close

I was almost free, free to clean the house with the radio up to loud. Free to sing in my terrible voice with the to much enthusiasm of a woman alone in her own home. Free. But no, my youngest daughter was OUT THE DOOR PEOPLE...she was out the door (out) but then 2 minutes later she walked back in the door much to my horror and bewilderment.

Momma, I was half way up the hill when I almost threw up, I had hold it back and run home.
awwwwww. She hasn't thrown up yet, she's not running a fever not coughing or plegmy or ANTHING!!??! she does however have a canker sore that maybe the cause of it, it's on the heal but Web M.D. says this might be a side effect. She's currently watching fairly odd parents from her bed damn it.

Speaking of kids cartoons and completely off the subject, has anyone noticed that Jennifer Lopez named her newborn twins after the brats on PBS's Dragon Tails? I'm sorry to be like this but...how how ugh.

When she finally comes down off the prego chemicals she's gonna feel silly. And later when her brats figure it out, oh what fun. Maybe they'll be doing some big stupid cheesy reality show by then and we'll all get to see it HA!. It would serve her right.

Anyway, I want to ask anyone who reads this (snort) to give your advice on canker sores if you have had any or know anything on the subject and aren't ashamed to say so, ever have them when you were a kid? what method did you use to get rid of it? did your mom have some miracle cure? did you? Tell me people I never had them as a kid so I'm trying my internet methods which were few.

Then go, out into the world and have a canker sore free day.

Thank You.

FUCK!!!!!!

Husband depressed stop.
Quit smoking in August (Yeah!) stop.
Gained 20lbs since then (damn!) stop.
Have only one pair of jeans that fit and no $ stop.
House a mess stop.
What the hell happened stop.

Its sunny and warm here today in fair Astoria.

Two days in a row now! And to think just two hours ago it was crappy and the sidewalk was wet with what I will assume was rain though I didn't actually see it happen so I can't be sure.

Things have returned back to semi-normal since The Evil King lost his Dear Father. However he hasn't fully grieved what with all the family business that takes place when a family member passes. He is the soul provider for this family and while on the one hand I feel slightly guilty for that, it also maybe whats keeping him from falling completely apart.

You see, I have a morbid sense of death. I don't grieve long and usually the grieving is about how bad those around me feel. I feel sadder for them than over the loss of the dead and the pain I feel is for them. Death is just a start to something new and better and usually an end to something painful or some kind of suffering.

So, heartlessly I forget about the sadness and move on with the living I've been left here to do, because after all what can one do but continue on living? But I forget that others around me are not as good at letting go as I am, how do I help him process his grief? Will it process itself? Like they say, it will just hit you at some point, you'll be driving or online at the grocery store and there it will manifest itself, the grief. The pain of your emotional self finally getting the message, the last one figuratively to get the proverbial phone call.

So I listen, whenever the mood strikes him to tell me...anything, I just listen. I tell him I love him and how he's my favorite boy in the whole world. How I'm so lucky to be loved by him so much and all that that implies. So here's to tomorrow being another sunny day and the pain being a little further away than today.

In mourning at the house of Evil...

I had no time to stop for Death...and so it kindly stopped for me.

So yesterday,

My Rock-n-Roll fish truck driver and my two little evil princesses took our selves to Fort Stevens State Park, 'cause they have the awesomest family bike trails in the great N.W. The man and I however do not have bicycles yet, I tried to borrow some from my Mother-in-law who has well alot, but she said "no, let me have them spiffed up first" and I was thinking no problem 'cause my youngest still needs to get the hang of riding a bike.

Well, she's got the hang of it, and it only took her one try! stinking little muffin head. So anyway the four of us went for a walk/ride, the two girls riding there bikes and the two of us walking. It was SO beautiful out there oh my flip. That last bad storm we had that knocked out Astoria for four days pretty much ripped anything that wasn't firmly rooted right out of the ground but they've been cleaning it up and the beauty that the storm left behind makes it worth being without heat and power for so long.

The path was being taken back by the forest by the moss, bright spring green moss. The willow trees are starting to come out and they are right at that stage where their so small and soft. I had to take a wisp of it. The whole place looks like the kind of area that might be inhabited by fairies or some such thing. Every now and then the dog will take after some unseen thing and It makes me wonder what color that fairy was.

And my daughters, who whip the trail and back again on their bikes, riding over far more terrain on our adventure then I or my man are covering on foot. My youngest gets to the little foot bridge that crosses over the big stream and up to the middle we walk, then she gets on her tiny little pink schwinn stardust with the frilly tassles hangin' off the handle bars (can you see it?) and we tell her now make sure to use the brakes so you don't go to fast. Down the hill she goes and she's peddling and peddling and her Dad yells "USE YOUR BRAKES!" and she peddles still.

We get down to the bottom (after I fainted and Alex hauled my ass off the pavement) and ask her "didn't you hear me tell you to use your brakes?" and she says "YA but I didn't want to, I wanted to go faster!" all this with a HUGE grin on her face. That's right scare the Momma, whatever.

Oh funny thing happened on our little walk, this group of mountain bikers ride by us with there dog who looks to be some sort of herd dog and right before it barks and takes a nip at my dog who doesn't act that way one of the guys shouts "it's okay, he's nice" Now whats funny about these people is their all mountain bike geared up, with the fancy spandex outfits and their weird looking aero-dynamic racing style helmets. It looks like some snotty imported "local" had brought some of his even snottier out of towners to do "some serious bike riding dudes" only to find parents walking their little blond girls on pink stardust schwinn's.

They were not amused, I however thought it was damned funny.
served him right his dog made a liar out of him. And by the way mister!! that was NOT the off leash area, have some respect Man. BE NICE OR LEAVE!.

Snipity snip Prince Tybalt

So today is the day that my little kitten who has gone from this.....

To a 13 pound monster who stinks and chases his mother around like she is his would be suitor.

Cats are disgusting, they will try to procreate with there own Mother's. It's very Oedipus, all sick and twisted and shit and I thought humans were bad.

However, my monster cat is very particular about his schedule these days. See I get up at 4:45 a.m. everyday except Sunday with my Man to help get him off to work smoothly. When I appear on the stair case (and this doesn't happen with any other family member) my dog starts doing the happy dance, he lays his ears back and he lays on his Lab eyes feature and starts to thump his tail, not wagging you see but thumping...he bangs his tail on the floor or the chair or what ever he happens to be sitting on. It's the cutest damn thing ever and it means "oh good! your awake, is it time for food? food food food food food food food food food.

About this time the cat seems to hear our movings around and appears outside and begins to throw himself bodily at the front door. He really throws himself too, it's sounds like someone threw a sack of potatoes at the door ITS THAT LOUD! Upon entering our domain he starts to yell, he does that loud also. He expects to be fed and now.

Well today, he didn't get fed and he's pist about it and he doesn't mind telling me so. He's just now calming down, maybe 'cause I got the biggest softest pillow in the house and talked him into laying down on it. Now he's purring and I can hear it from 3 feet away. Enjoy in now sweet Tybalt, Prince of Cats for today you meet with the business end of a scalpel. Hopefully he'll stop peeing on the rug right in front of me now.

So now I imagine that now my 13lb cat will turn in to a 25lb cat and maybe his mother will finally come back home, she's has taken up with the old lady down the street who's cat IS snipped. She doesn't even let her into her house but she still won't come home. She hates her kitten who's much bigger than she is and harasses her pitifully with his little Oedipus complex, I probably wouldn't come home either.

Later I'll tell you all about our Park Adventure yesterday and how pist I am I didn't take my camera to show you all my sweet children on their new bikes, or how my littlest girl is the daredevil of my children.

It's a beautiful day here in fair Astoria.

But cold as a bitch. So here at the house of Evil we have a big day planned. We intend to haul the kid bikes out of the basement and attach them to the handy dandy new bike rack we bought with the last tiny little bit of our tax money, which I managed to blow in one short weekend...however I am now debt free thank you very much. Then we will take our young daughters to someplace that they can actually ride said bicycles since we live on a hill that is not at good for bike riding.

Last weekend the Daddy took the two girls out to the Jetty in Ft. Stevens State Park to let the oldest girl regain her foothold on the whole "I can ride a bike" portion of her memory and he was going to attach the training wheels from big sister's old bike to little sister's new bike when there was a snag. He, for some reason I'm still not sure of, can't get the training wheels onto the new little bike. So he decides to (and this is why I didn't participate in this particular function, 'cause I go nutty) teach the child to just ride the bike the old fashioned way. Her sister is now gleefully wheeling around the Jetty's giant parking lot only daunted by the speeds of her bike and how to shift them while not pitching forward onto her face.

So after only about 15 minutes if that my eight year old is riding her brand new bike sans any help from the wretched training wheels. How proud was I when her Dad called me to tell me all of this? I almost cried that's how proud! And SHE did pitch forward onto her face but did that stop her? Hell no, she came home with a big Ol' smile like her face had never met pavement before and her shins weren't scuffed at all.

So now I have to go and watch, soon we will all maybe have bicycles and I'll be able to loose the 20lbs I've gained since I quit smoking in August. Not to mention what a nice sappy family activity it will be to go bike riding together at the Park and all that. Ahhhhhhhhh.

It'a 6am here in fair Astoria and it's still dark

Good morning to you all out there in blog land.
It's Saturday morning here at the House of Evil, The Evil King is on his way to work to drive his Rock-n-Roll fish delivery truck (so named by our eldest daughter who thinks her Dad is the awesomest thing since candy) my two daughters are still tucked away in their beds and I have this glorious free time to blog till my little hearts content, or I go into computer overload whatever.

Now I know for the most part all of you out there in blog land usually take the weekend off.
However here at the House of Evil as per usual our schedule is not per usual. Once again the work schedule is split days off so the Evil King has to work Saturdays just like I did when I was the full time working Parent, now I get the Saturday's off. So I seem to get the Internet all to my self ( Maniacal laugh ensues) what will I do now that I am Queen of the Internet?

First, research a way to take over the world, then gather the minions with instructions to fan out over the world to take their positions and await further instructions for world domination, then maybe I'll start the pot roast, have dinner with the Evil King and the Evil Princesses and then watch a movie, after that maybe I'll take over the world. Can't rule the world on an empty stomach you know.

OH WAIT! I'm Queen of the Internet not Queen of the World! See how fast it can get outa hand? and it only took one paragraph. Now imagine if someone like that was really in control...oh wait.

Anyway, now that I have blathered on about crap no one will ever read I think I'll go now.
I hope you all have fine wonderful weekends filled with lots and lots of whatever it is that you like to do. But please! be reasonable, to much of anything is not good you know?

Goodmorning from the house of EVIL

Well Valentine's turned out to be a big fat surprise, apparently The Evil King spent all day yesterday moping about how he didn't have the money to bring me anything for Valentine's day (what a sweetie pie) then he pulled his Rock-n-Roll fish Delivery Truck into the shop and low and behold his quarterly bonus had arrived much to our surprise. So after all my ranting my wonderful Man brought me flowers and chocolate anyway. Heh...and yes the flowers will die and the chocolate will make me fat, but...he loves me and that's still all that matters. After all this time he is still my Lover, my friend, my favorite boy in the whole wide world and I love him.

So I'll take it when I get it and when I don't I won't cry, I still don't believe all the Holiday commercialism designed to make people feel guilty for not giving or bad for not getting when the reality is that's not what matter's and the original meaning of these silly holidays are lost and people all over have to learn to face reality and live by their means what ever those means are and shame on the media for giving people more reasons to feel bad about themselves.

So Happy Back to Normal Day everybody, have a great friday. I'm going to clean my house, pay some bills, get gas, buy dog food and then have coffee with a girlfriend. It's gonna be a great day!

Ode to St. Valentine, patron saint of lovers.

It would be nice to say some profound thing on this Valentine's day but I honestly don't have it in me. I'm not an eloquent writer or witty, sometimes funny but mostly not. Also it has been brought to my attention that the true meaning of Valentine's day has been lost as with most American holidays and I just can't bring myself to worship the almighty dollar again so soon after Christmas.
Not to mention the fact that I just can't afford it. I also don't need someone to tell me my day will suck if I don't get the obligatory chocolates and flowers and diamonds. Because chocolate will make you fat the flowers will die (by my hand anyway) and the diamonds? not only can I not afford them where the hell would I where them? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not be-grudging anyone their excuse to have a day a little less ordinary but for me it's just a way of draining my bank account for no real good reason . My relationship with my man will be just as good sans chocolate, flowers and diamonds. Besides the best things from him cannot be purchased and It doesn't have to be a special day to be told how special he thinks I am or how much he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and really people after 17 1/2 years isn't that better than all that other crap anyway?
Not to mention this kinda started as a day for the advocation of binding lovers to each other and now its about how much money we spend!
So St. Valentine, nice thought and all but I don't need your ceremony, Thanks anyway!

okay heres the deal

My man, my sweet, sweet man who provides for me, takes care of me, keeps a roof over my head and gas in my car and food in my fridge and allows me to be the stay at home mom that I am, well he has been jonesing for the computer much much more than I ever could and since we got this wonderful new gaming computer and he works all day and I don't...I have to wait my stinky little turn and not bitch and whine about it seeing's how I get the machine all to myself tomorrow when there's no one here to stop me. and...he did let me in just now so I could snoop around and write this post and what not. So I'll have to read all your wonderful stuff later and you will all just have to deal with it. Soon I'll be posting more than you can keep up with me. Will update soon.

GOOD PEOPLE OF BLOG LAND!!!

I HAVE RETURNED!! not that anyone cares, for I had so few readers before the demise of my sad old computer that they have all forgotten I ever existed and will have to spend the next few weeks harassing my old haunts till they remember who I am. Now that I have a computer that will not crash, $1500 worth of duo core liquid cooled super human (or alien acctually) gamer computer. No more will I be thwarted by the PURGE, jihad my computer will ya, YAHHHH TRICK YAHHHHH. I'm so outa the loop that I don't think I know how to use a computer anymore, I'm a little intimidated. But being the stay at home mom that I am I have lots of time on my hands to figure it out. So, beware, I'm back and on the hunt for my old readers.
See you soon.

To My Mother

I love you. You are the sun and the moon. You are my friend, my counselar, my nurse, my favorite person to shock or to make laugh...I never know which one I'll get which is why you are my favorite. You are my rescuer and my executioner. You loved me and nurtured me even when I didn't deserve it. Your love was always unconditional and it remains so with my daughters and I would'nt be who I am today if it were'nt for you and the way you are. You always have a smile even when your sad. I love you and someday my daughters will be grown women and I hope they still look up to me and love me they way I do you.
I love you Mommy.
Love Neicie

So, it comes to this...

I have to drive clear to Portland to use a computer, check my e-mail and do my blogging. AND then when I finally get to a computer that works I find I have writers block ( or what ever they call it when you suck at writing) and can't think of anything to say. So...in honor of my dearest and oldest (really ) friend in the whole entire universe I dedicate this post to miss Melanie in Oregon as it is her 33rd birthday and the 19th year that I've known her. So I'll tell you about the first time I saw the girl.
I was sitting in my freshman english class feeling really self conscietous as I had spent the first week of school in disneyland and absolutley noone knew who the hell I was. This however was not to deture me as I was not going to spend the year feeling like that, when in walks this girl, jeans and a jacket that matched, and blond hair hanging just so as to hide anything that might be underneath it. She sat down next to me with hair still hanging, I leaned down so I could catch her eye and said HI!! I'm Denise, whats your name? here we are 19 years later with so much history in between we could write a book, make you laugh, cry, gasp, sigh, love, despair, hope and so much more.
Happy Birthday Miss Melanie, I love you.

Okay people!! This is my 100th post...

And in honor of this occasion I am posting a little bit of art,


This one's for you Melanie!!!

*LOST* update

NO!, we still don't know Jack diddley squat!!!

I say they don't have a frickin' clue what's going on from week to week anymore than we do.

It's alien's.

OH MY GOD PEOPLE!!!!!

Will the cast of LOST finally figure out who the Dharma initiative are?

Will they finally know who the OTHERS are and where the hell they come from?

Will the producers of this show finally after 3 DAMN YEARS! tell us what the fuck is going on?

Do they even know?

unanswered questions of the universe...tune in tomorrow when we will hear our author inevitably say WTF??????

Female comeback's for the Male pickup lines

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together


I've actually used #4 HA!

Okay, what was Pavlov's dog's name?

'Cause it should be mine.

Do you remember the mash potatoes and gravy that they served at your grade school? Well, I remember mine, it was instant mash taters and this clear to yellow gravy with little chunks of hamburger. Every time they would serve this dish it would waft down to my classroom inevitably about 30 minutes before lunch. The smell would turn on the rumble in my tummy rendering my brain incapable of doing anything but keep my mouth from drooling. Okay these classes I've been taking? same damn thing. I'm not sure its the above dish that I smell but it's something that at least smells just like it. Somebody eats that at least 3 times a week and always the smell hits me about 30 minutes before its time for lunch and my stomach starts to talk too loud and my brain just shuts right off. Makes me wants to drive down to the nearest grade school, walk into the cafeteria and demand my instant mashers w/hamburger gravy. However, all of this makes for one great thing, that I can now smell food again means that I'll soon be over this sickness I'm afflicted with right now. YEAH FOR SMELL!!!!!

Recentley...

I've noticed the red shirts, you know the ones that all the proceeds go to help Africans? the ones that read
INSPI(RED)

Well, I think that they should come out with some specifically for Mom's, for example...
TI(RED)
IR(RED)
ANGE(RED)
BO(RED)
SCA(RED)
SCATTE(RED)
TATTE(RED)
BATTE(RED)
SPLATE(RED)
SPA(RED)
SMEA(RED)
FEA(RED)
SMOTHE(RED)
MOTHE(RED)
WEATHE(RED)



Then there's the adult variety...

LU(RED) [spelling changed to suit my own fancy HA!]
TOR(RED) " "
RETI(RED)
FI(RED)
HI(RED)!
MI(RED)
WI(RED)
PAMPE(RED)

That's all I've got folks. If you can think of any please by all means leave it here. I'd love to hear your take on it.

My stinky brat the artist

Drawn, colored, cut and pasted all by looking at a Peter pan video. What potential.

Stinky Brats.

My children such stinky brats.
They complain and they whine and they cry for cats.
They mess up my house,
they break their toys,
they never EVER stop making noise.
They eat all the best stuff out of the fridge,
they'll turn my sweater into a bridge.
Then the next thing you know out of my dining room will sprout,
a chair and blanket sweater mess hide-out.
They're always dirty tracking mud on the floor,
why can't they ever stop slamming the door?
Their elbows are pointy and fit to jab,
they'll sit for hours and blabity blab blab.
They'll argue and bicker and fight fight all night,
all over who has to turn out the light.
they'll hit each other over the head with their books,
or sit just to close giving dirty stinky looks.
They'll stomp and they'll shout if they don't get their way,
I think I might pull my hair out today.
A mother's job is not always fun.
sometimes I wish I could lay in the sun
and not care at all where my children are at,
or what they are doing to the cat.
But alas that life is just not for me,
'Cause I'm a Mom it's the way it's too be,
for even though they are little stinky brats,
I love them with all of my heart and that's that.

Making me feel old...

I signed on to apologize for my lack of attendance to my blog and yours. To explain that low and behold when I started doing tutorial classes 4 hours a day this week I didn't realize that I had taken enough time off work to make sitting and listening to someone talk for 4 hours very exhausting. Then blogger forced me to update which caused panic as I assumed that I'd lose everything and have a lot of work to do. It didn't and it didn't take all that long so I can't even complain about it, quick and easy whew! So I'm whipped people, I am really too tired to simply read a blog. I got three sentences into two interesting blogs and my eyes crossed and the words turned to little bugs that crawled across my screen and they wouldn't get back into their places no matter how hard I rubbed my eyes; writing this seems to be mildly difficult as well. So with that said I am instantly guilt free and a nap is in order, maybe two.

Blah, blah, blah, yakity schmackity...

Okay I got nothin'. I keep thinking up things to write about and then with a big sigh I think, "No, I don't want to talk about it." It's like that with everything for me lately. It's not like I have so little to do that I simply don't have anything to talk about, it's just that I don't feel like talking. It's not as if anything in my life is so exciting or uneventful even it just feels like to much work to discuss. Do you ever feel like that, like you have something to say but it just takes to much energy to say it?

I feel like if it's just going to be small talk then what's the point? It's not just myself I have trouble with lately it's others as well. I'll be reading someone's blog or talking to someone I love about something that would usually interest me and instead I find myself thinking BLAH BLAH BLAH! whatever! Maybe it's a mild case of depression, I have never really experienced it before I don't think so I'm not really sure. It could just be what they call seasonal depression wherein the lack of sunlight for a prolonged period of time brings on a kind of temporary depression that can be cured with a little relaxation and warm sunshine on the face.

So, I guess that all I would need to say then is I need a vacation, maybe on the beach, one with actual sunshine, with no noise perhaps and no men or children. Or at least none that belong to me so I'm not responsible for them. Or nobody, just as good.

The New Barbie Collection...

ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel recently announced the release of
limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Portland and surrounding areas market:

" Vancouver Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Hawthorne Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Hawthorne Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Lake Oswego Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Beaverton Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

" Stark St. Barbie"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

" Clackamas Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

" West Hills Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.

"Pearl District Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Forest Heights Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Galleria. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

" Estacada Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Gresham, Hillsboro, and other outlying suburbs Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top Also available with a mobile home.

Oh hell no people!

My man, my wonderful full of fun, wants US to all have fun with him for he SAYS that he doesn't have as much fun without us, this loving man o' mine wants us to go to the lake today, and b-b-q, and ride what my wonderful miss Melanie affectionately calls the W.M.D. water-bound machine of death. We have a jet ski, and while it is loads of summertime fun, yes even spring time fun if weather permits it is not I repeat NOT a winter time fun event. I just stepped outside to check the mail people and when I got back inside my first reaction was to want to turn up the heat, this is not the sign of someone who wants to go play at the lake and lets not go there with the play in the Lake. No, no, more like wrap up in a blanket on the sofa and watch t.v. or read a book. Of course my children would willingly go tromping into the cold wearing nothing but their bathing suits at the first hint of playing in water, no matter that its like 40 degrees outside, they don't care, they'd go, they'd even get in the lake, THEY WOULD! and they'd play till they were the purple color of corpses and even cry while their lips shivered so bad that their words would have trouble coming out that they didn't want to come out of the water! we don't care if we fr-fr-fr-freeez-z-ze t-t-to death m-m-mom-m-m-ma. So now I have to be the bad guy, 'cause when the Man comes home from working, raining and frickin' cold or not he's gonna want to go play and I will have to remind him of the weather outside and that our small child was running a fever all day yesterday and at risk of getting the stink eye for the rest of the day I'm gonna have to say nuh-uh, sorry, some other day maybe, weather permitting.

Okay...

This is why I love the blogosphere, because were it not for that...then I would not be enlightened to little gems like this. I reeeeeealy need one of these people! Even if its not true MOST of the time. Its certainly true some of the time and when it is, it would surely be nice to be wearing one.
that's all for now.

Not a sports fan...

However, I was just watching the news and I just saw a high school girls basketball team win their game. Nothing special your thinking right? It was the last 5 seconds, the other team missed their free throw, this girl on the other team picks up the ball and from 3/4 of the court away from her basket she hucked the ball, she made it. I was screaming and jumping around in my living room. It was the most awesome play Ive ever seen from high school kids, and their girls HA! and Im not a sports fan.

Quickie

Okay I've added a couple of sites to my list of links, some of my family's my-space accounts. BUT I also have been playing with my account and because of some tips from my sweetie cousins I've figured out how to "pimp" my my-space page, its fun once you get the hang of it. If you click on the Evil's My-space link you get to hear my new favorite song. So if your bored and you something new to do go check it out.
Bu bye

Sorry people...

After discussing the issue with the Dad figure I decided I may have jumped the blog gun so to speak, so the post has been removed.
Somethings should just be kept at home.

If it wasnt so cold Id be playing outside.

I just took my girl up the hill to the bus stop people and the view from up there is absolutely fantastical today. The sky is all pink and dusty blue, the Columbia river looks calm and its a hazy shade of slate blue today. There's this flock of birds that flies from the river's edge to the top of the hill in Astoria, there must be a thousand or more birds in this flock and they fly right over our heads, its incredible. However the downside to all this beauty in Astoria this time of year is that without the clouds the temperature drops like 10 degrees and its starts to freeze your ears off. It looks like its gonna be a bright shiny summer day until you see the frost on the ground, so thick that its almost ice. It would be a beautiful day for the beach if your willing to risk frost bite. I hope where ever you are thats its as nice outside for you as it is here for me.

Finally!!!

Will you look at that, I finally got my computer back. At this rate Ill have a new skill to add to my resume, computer builder. I'm gettin' good, the man and I managed to put it together this time in under an hour and with little help from the mother board manual. Anyway, my update is: I'm still unemployed and am jumping through hoops to stay that way till I can go to school. Its a slow and frustrating process of proving to the state why they should spend their (i.e. my) money on me. The money's there already now I just have to make them see why they should use it to further my education instead of some other schmo. Other than that nothing. Or as much nothing as I can pull off. It frickin' cold outside people. Okay, thats all you get right now, I have 55 e-mails to sort through and half of them want me to pay attention to my my-space account. Phew.
see ya soon.

Holy bad computer mojo batman.

Recently I discovered that there is a goddess called Palikula, she is the goddess of all things cinematic. So if thats so then there must be a goddess of all things computer technical. I need to know who she is. See I believe that I have angered her because I haven't been worshiping her properly. In the last 6 weeks Ive had two major malfunctions and low this $240 later I'm back on-line again. This time it was the video card, Damn the Purge for this I say. I do think that if my man were not such a damn on-line game geek that I wouldn't be having all this trouble. It was the video card that blew up the mother board in the 1st place. However I have to wonder why the damn board could not support one year of high graphics gaming. Because if it couldn't it would stand to reason that ASUS would not warranty their mother boards for that kind of abuse. So I say, WTF?? hmmmm. Ive now replaced the damn video card with the top of the line (I'm told, but what do I know huh?) which incidentally is more costly than a damn hard drive or operating system. Doesn't make much sense to me. So hopefully Ill be back tomorrow with another post. However I am going to go ahead and post my disclaimer now. If I should not return by tomorrow, It inevitably means that I have yet another problem and let it be known now, I have officially spent every dime I have and maxed out both credit cards so that my family might have a nice Christmas and part of that money went to the computer which is to be my husbands only Christmas present this year and if the damn thing blows again you wont be hearing from me until after tax time. So if anyone knows the name of the computer goddess please drop her name in the comments so I might sacrifice something to her in order to make up for my lack of proper homage.

uhhhhhh, ya.

So, Ive had a little blockage goin' on here for a little while, Ive had my computer back for about 5 days now and while the man type person has been monopolizing all of the computer time I haven't been to inclined to bitch about it. I'm super dull these days and my thoughts roam from "I cant remember that last time I washed this" too "Oh my god what is that?" too "which room do I disassemble, disinfect and reassemble today" wanna hear what I found under my kids beds? I think not, yeah a real journalistic genius here folks. BUT at least I have a computer with which to bore you all with when I do have something mundane and droll to say and it only cost me $55 some postage and some patience . P.S. Kris, I am ever so sorry I haven't logged on to My space, I'm still completely illiterate with it and its all I can do to check my e-mail these days. Seems now that I'm not working I'm busier than when I was. But eventually here maybe after Thanksgiving (my parents are coming) I'll get the house completely clean then I can think about school. There Melanie, I posted. However its a yawner. Maybe I'll post tomorrow between the pumpkin pie cooking and the deviled egg recipe I plan to create. Since my father is the reigning deviled egg king and master I have to try to master the art myself. Someone has to carry on the family legacy.

So, I got my new mother board...

However, it looks like the computer it self was the problem and we are swiftly playing process of alimination to try to find the original problem that caused the motherboard to fry. I would allready have reformated my computer were it not for the precious pics I have downloaded that I am currently trying to extract BUT my click/drag functions don't seem to be responding, so its proving difficult to accomplish. My next step is to e-mail all my files to myself in order to save what I cant extract. I just wanted to stop by briefly to let anyone who would care to know that I love and miss all of you and your blogs and as soon as I can stop worrying about my computer crashing I plan on posting my "why I would not continue working for McMahan's Furniture" post and will also be spending an entire day reading all and I do mean ALL of the posts on my blog roll list that I've missed while I've been away.
Love you all,
Love Evil.

A Short Note

My computer is down. The motherboard is toast, but it's under warranty, so we're getting a new one. It's a ten-day turnaround, and we're mailing it tomorrow, so you can expect me to post again in under two weeks. Seeya soon!

Bad Table

The beauty of working in a furniture store is that company send you their magazines to try to get the company to buy and sell their merchandise, every now and then you get a little gem of a giggle like this one;



This is called Bad Table, and Im sure you can see why. This is an acctual table that you can purchase and I assume set up in your living room and I guess use it for a cocktail table.
HA! this is THE funniest piece of merch I have ever seen, and I really needed that giggle today.

Update on the KOOL- AID pie

Okay so it was like 9:30pm and the kitchen lighting was not so good but here we have the KOOL-AID pie that I posted the recipe for on the post down below. My 10 year old daughter made this and while its very, very rich it was delicious and so easy. We also determined that this pie filling could be a very good frosting with a little variation, like instead of using KOOL-AID you could ad cocoa. While its rich for pie filling its acctually lighter and less sweet than canned frosting and sets up just as well. The flower pattern with the fruit was my daughters idea and it came out really cute. Try the pie, its really good.

The Abominable Snow Man.

One day about 15 years ago Miss Melanie and I were roomates in this big 'ol run down house. During the winter that year, must have been February, it snowed. It started to snow and it didnt stop for 3 days. In Portland that's a long time for snow. It also hung around for about two weeks after this. Miss Melanie was working for this little chicken place in the mall and I being bored and an overly worrisome teen when it pertained to Miss Melanie decided to take the bus with her to work and I would play at the mall while she worked her shift and then we would head back home together. It took us 1 1/2 hours to get the 2 miles to the mall, usually a 10 minute bus ride.
And again on the way back same thing, very elongated bus ride that should have only taken a fraction of the time it did take. Now, from the bus stop to our house is a 10 block walk (through the snow) and at the end of said jaunt was a large park between us and the house making up the last 3 blocks of our walk. We, Melanie and I, get to that park and proceed to cross it to get home, shivering and lips blue, noses bright red, lungs burning from so much inhaled cold air, eyelashes begining to form small ice crystals. On the far side of the park is a man and his wife and their two small children and he is having a gas chasing them all around and throwing snow balls at them while they squeal with glee. Just as Melanie and I notice this and comment on how sweet they all look he turns...he spots US...and then the strangest thing, he starts to roar...in our direction. I look at her she looks at me, we start to giggle. THEN he raises his hands over his head flailing his arms about, he starts to roar even louder, he starts towards us, slow at first then faster, then he's running at full speed with a snow ball in each hand and roaring, LOUD. We still teenagers after all scream at the top of our lungs and start running at full speed toward the house. He is still in pursuit when the two of us collapse not two feet from the door laughing till we cant breath. As I sit up to catch my breath I realize, The Abominable snow man is laughing too. Holding his guts and rolling around in the snow laughing. Aparantly we had been made honorary Abominable snow kids so we didnt feel all left out and stuff.

Kool-aid Pie.

1 small package of orange Kool-aid
1 small can sweentened condensed milk.
1 8oz tub of whip cream.
1 grahm cracker crust.
1 small can manderin oranges.

mix 1st three ingredients together and pour into grahm cracker crust.
garnish with oranges.

this recipe can be altered w/any of your favourite flavors of Kool-aid and any fruit you choose as a garnish.
I think strawberry Kool-aid with strawberries for garnish would be fantabulous.
OOOH or tropical fruit with fruit cocktail garnish, oh the possibilities are endless.

Happy day

So, a little quickie.
Today is my cousin Stacy's birthday and I just wanted to put out a little message.
Happy Birthday little cousin!
I love you.

What kind of weather are you?

This was fun.
Im lightning, beautifull but dangerous. People stop to watch me even though Im capable of great violence.

Oh this is hilarious.

I so have to have this Tee shirt.

My cat, The dog.

So, I ran out of dog food yesterday so I got a small bag of dog food to tide over the pooch untill I get paid this week and can go to the feed store on the outskirts of town, Now my oldest cat is very tired of her kitten (now almost as big as she is) sniffing around her ass and has decided to come home only rarely. So to entice her to stay close to home I bought her some wet cat food. To be nice I devided the first can I opened (salmon flavor, Melanie you are no cat if you dont like salmon) between the two of them, Juliette practically growled with pleasure when I dumped it into her bowl. Tybalt, the wiley kitten took one look at the "not dog food" and looked up at me with this "WTF? is this shit" look and would not touch it. I had to run some errands so I left him to buck up figure it out and eat the damn expensive cat food I lavished upon him. I came home to him crying CRYING PEOPLE! over his food as if it were satan himself in the dish. Low and behold when I conceded and put dry dog food in the dish he devoured it with relish. The wet food is still in the dish untouched, he ate the dry food and left the wet. So be it. Dog food for you cat-dog.

I'm tagging myself.

Because my "Honor" is in question. (not really)

I am: A really good listener.

I want: To get away from from this job with my original hair color.

I have: No Idea what I have. A clear indication that spring cleaning is far overdue.

I wish: I had my own house, with its own yard where my bedroom is further away from my kids bedroom.

I hate: To imagine not ever having a place to call mine.

I miss: Little Bill.

I hear: My friends are going to Costa Rica next month and am very jealous that Im not going with them.

I wonder: Where I'll be in ten years.

I regret: Not buying that dress at country fair when I had the chance.

I am not: Ever, ever ever ever, going to another one of those fucking "camp outs" at a certain persons property that I will not name here.

I dance: Whenever or where-ever the music moves me.

I sing: As long as no one is listening except my kids 'cause their the only ears I dont offend with it.

I cry: Over sappy old movies, T.V. shows and sentimental commercials.

I am not always: As friendly as I act.

I make with my hands: This recipe of my great grandma's called butterscotch candy that my Man has lovingly named CRACK 'cause its that addictive.

I write: Very little and not very well.

I confuse: My children every single time they ask me what is for dinner.

I need: A BREAK!!! and the return of my sanity.

I start: Craft projects that I dont finish.

I finnish: This meme that no-one acctually tagged me for.

and there you have it.

My daughter the artist

So, this particular talent comes from her father who is a fantabulous artist, if I could get him to draw I would post them here all the time, but alas he likes him the online games these days. But he did pass on the wonder of talent to my children and I must post it here. She drew this free hand (my oldest child), she tells me "Momma, I didnt really draw this 'cause I had to look at the picture while I was drawing but I didnt trace it." Such modesty, I cant draw this good if I do trace it. Isnt she wonderfull.

Dog attacks his own foot

because its trying to get his bone.
This is the funniest pet video Ive seen in a very long time.
You have to click on the underlined word in this here blog to get to the link,
my colors dont make the links all that clear. Go see, you wont regret it.

Evil Drama Queen

So, after two days of sleep (for me and the truck) all is well, my truck started right up no problem (WTF?) and I woke up not feeling as though I was going to burst into tears. So, Ill probably still get to attend my cousins wedding and so will also get a birthday.
I guess Im just a whiner.

depression cont'

I just want to add that I had so much more to say to explain all the ways the universe has once again singled me out but as I said below blogger keeps giving me the finger and now I feel to tired depressed and exausted to say any of it. Other than this, fuck it all, Im goin' to bed and Im only gettin' up when I absolutley have too. (i.e. to take the girls to school, to WALK myself to work.) Maybe I can just sleep through this little episode and when I wake up there'll be a prince and dwarves and....

Depression.

So, here it is closer to the end of my employment and I thought everything would be falling into place. I went out saturday night with my girlfriend Marie. Aparently the universe has determined that I am not allowed to have fun. As I was pulling my truck up to my house, two parking spaces away from mine and the truck died. I mean D-I-E-D all power gone, power stearing gone, all dead. Its like doom has once again started towards me with his outstreched boney finger and is preparing to tap me (once again) on the shoulder. Folks, I have had my fair share of this. I thought it was all over, that I had moved past that place in my life where things are so unstable that it could all come crashing down in an instant. I was wrong. At least now Im old enough to see the signs of it early enough to steal myself from it. This all comes at a most inoppertune time. I have a wedding to go to that Im prbably gonna have to bag out of now, which means also, no birthday for Evil, and I thought this was gonna be my lucky birthday starting my lucky year. seems not so, and now I just got a message from blogger saying its having trouble and this post may not even publish. Im gonna go cry.

"cause I hear I'll get fifty bonus points.

And NOT be cursed with butt worms. A little link for you to read.
here is Yes You Are.

Because Its damn funny.

Sunday fun at the arcade in Seaside.

These are my children, I tried very hard to get them to be silly with me but alas they only looked at me with amazement when I acted silly. Arent they precious my little terrorists.

Ode to an idiot.

To the idiot driver you tried to run me off the road,
You are a fucking asshole. Im pissed that you came down the hill In my lane as I was driving up the hill to take my daughter to the bus-stop. Im even more pissed that because I had to come to a compleate stop to avoid driving into you I got to get a close look at you because you were so damned close to me on account'a you had to drive around me as you were IN MY LANE!! and I discovered you were on your cell phone. You are why I dont have a cell phone. People are stupid with their cell phones. They want to talk and drive, which no-one has mastered Im sorry its true, or they want to come real close to you and stare at you while they talk to someone else WTF?? like they want to include you somehow in their conversation or they really want to impress you with their I dont know ability to talk while holding a tiny amount of plastic. Anyway back to Mr ran me off the road. Here's the best part you dumbass, I really enjoyed glaring at you when you came back up the hill and realized what you had done and that I was now parked and standing on the corner with my tiny child. I could see from the way you covered your entire face with your left arm so that all eye contact was blocked and you could avoid my icy stare of death. This however also blocked your view of on comming traffic. To this I say, you really are a fucking idiot, please cease and desist driving emediatley. Thank you.

Quickie, Update.

So, stupid store manager and fat stupid warehouse manager are no more. Stupid store manager got himself fired (HA!) and fat stupid warehouse manager quit on the spot when confronted with his latest truck accident (Double HA!) Stupid store manager has been replaced by a woman (WOO-HOO!!) so far she's the shit. She takes none, whips ass and she's funny...bonus! Here's to hoping it all runs smooth from here.

Oddly enough...a political post.

Well sort of, I feel the need to gossip about one of the leaders of our fair Astoria. In particular our Mayor, Mayor Van Dusen. Ever heard of Van Dusen beverages? One in the same. Anyway our Fair Mayor has for the third time in his 15 years (15 years? there should be a law) as Mayor gotten himself arrested for druck driving. Let it be known that Mayor Van Dusen employs (and personally hired) the man who arrested him...hmmm.
Now this man is claiming that after all this time, finally he needs help. He has checked himself into the bum bum baaaaaa Betty Ford Clinic. Heres a link to the Betty Ford website so's you could all see how much that clinic will cost him (or rather, me.) Now all I have to say about this, and make no mistake I would say it to his face if I could is this: Why when you can afford a lofty price tagged rehab center like Betty Ford could you NOT afford a FUCKING CAB RIDE HOME? You might haved saved yourself (again probably me) alot of money and possibly a life! What a wonderfull example our fair leaders are setting for our children. You can get away with anything as long as you have a policeman on your payroll and most important, in your pocket.

crossing off the days on the big giant calander with a red sharpie marker.

The working never ends. I work 40 to 60 hours a week for the furniture store, if I wasnt so damn tired when I got home I would work another 1 to 2 hours a day at home as well what with dinner to cook and laundry and dishes to wash and children who need read to or an ear to listen to them read and the batheing and the house to tidy and lets not even talk about the dusting that I dont do. I just use the excuse that Im stocking up on cob webbing for halloween, so what if its eight months away! So for this reason alone (allthough there are many others) I am so glad that I am loosing my job. Now I might acctually get some days off instead of using my days off from work to work at home. The first two weeks will be spent cleaning each and every room in my house. I have six rooms alltogether and I figure it will take me two days to get each room sanitized and then another two days to go through the three closets in the house (two of those are really storage only) and sort out the crap from the keep. I figure after all of that is done I can safely alot myself two full days of sleep. After spending the last three and a half years working full time as an Office manager and a full time maid also I could really use a vacation. There is this beautifull quaint little hotel in Seaside, Oregon called (shocker) The Seaside Inn. It only has 8 rooms and all of them have Ocean views. There all themed, like the wicker room (all the furniture is wicker surprise!) with all the wicker accesories. Theres the log cabin room, the driftwood room. Some of them have hot tubs in them OH FUCK YA!! Now Ive been talking about doing this for a couple of years now, checking myself in for the weekend with a bottle of wine (or three) and sitting in the window with it and a pack of smokes (or three) and the ocean view and air as my only friend for three whole days. Its about $150 a night but I deserve it. Give me a room on the top floor with a spa and I promise not to fall out the window after Im drunk. My little present to myself for working 7 days a week for the last 10 years. Now some of you might say, "whine whine, suck it up Momma all us Mom's have to do that." and to that I say, Your right, Im not special because Im over worked. Im not alone in my misery, BUT that doesnt mean I dont deserve a break or a whine. Or some wine, whatever.

Note to self.

Tip for the day:
always wear black.
reason: When you form a hole in your lower lip a spit coffee into your lap you DONT look like you've just wet yourself 'cause no-one can see it.
God bless black.

The weirdness of Evil by request.

Okay so my friend Melanie (sorry not skilled enough to make her name a link) has requested ney demanded thay I post 5 things that are weird about me. All I have to say before I start is: You know what my name is, you asked for it remember that.

1. I am a complete slob at home, I am not OCD inclined when it comes to housework, however I cannot function in anything but complete organization at work, I cannot work on top of work everything has to be neat and tidy down to the contents of the desk drawers.
2. I love to watch bull riding, this is a new one for me. Recentley I was flipping channels and ended up on the Outdoor Life Network where to my astonishment I found my self hollering at the T.V. like a dude watching the superbowl. A new love of PBR (professional bull riding) was born.
3. I have a jar. In that jar: A wolf tooth, a human tooth, feline and canine whiskers and baby teeth, A white hair from a witch, a porcupine quill and the wings of multiple insects. I also conned my children out of the toothfairies treasure by out bidding her for them and I have all there babyteeth as well.
4. I dont do death. I dont cry when people die, I dont mourn at the funeral, I laugh. I laugh at people who lie about the dead, I try not to do it out loud, or if not then at least keep it to the row Im in. what can I say see #3.
5. When Im alone and something or someone has pissed me off, Ill talk to it/them as if they were there, Ill say the mean things I think only when Im angry but would never really say to any person. If you walked in on me doing it you'd think I was a nutter. I got this one from dear ol' Dad, I know 'cause I have walked in on him doin' this. Thanks Dad!
And there you have it folks Im a loon. Im sure there's more but thats all ya get.

The new do.

gone, GONE BABY!!!

Okay so this morning when the oldest walked out the door for her 1st day back at school, my heart did a little flip. When the little girl crossed the street to board the bus without so much as a backward glance the giddiness almost bubbled up out of me. When the bus pulled away and I saw her sitting next to some other little kid who was just as excited to be on the bus and I saw her laugh, the giddiness then did bubble out of me, so much so that I turned and skipped, acctually skipped back down the hill. Free, my mornings are once again mine for an entire hour before work. And soon, very soon, the whole day will be mine. you will be mine, oh yes, you WILL be mine.

Today has been very busy

Two kids to their prospective classes for tomorrow's 1st day of school, the little girl and I just got our hairs cut. She got a little page boy with bangs so she can see us and we can see her. I got a super groovy stacked A-line, long in the front and short in the back. I love it, BUT, since aunt ethel is about to come make me miserable, and she fore-shadowed her impending arrival by turning my face into a pepperoni pizza (who said it stopped after puberty? they lied) I wont be showin' off my new do for a week or so. But I promise I will post a pic of the new do as soon as my face doesnt look like its was just delivered by the pizza boy.

One down, one to go.

Okay, so this morning I took the oldest child to orientation, apparently parents happily send their children to school without this little ritual, which I can only imagine is very frustrating for the kids and the administration who have to deal with a rash of children who have know idea where to go or what to do. So I take them, even though I know they will probably get where they need to go even if they dont have a clue. I cant see the admin leaving all those children who didnt attend the orientation out in the hall. Anyway, the oldest has an awesome teacher, he's up-beat, kinda goofy and he had the whole room hanging on his every word. I like that, he even had me intrested. At 1pm I have the other one to take to orientation.
My point to all this is, its gonna be a good year. In my life time every year that I have turned an age where both numbers were the same its been a very good year (I.E. 11, 22 and now 33) Its gonna be a very good year. Something wonderfull always happens, at 11 my baby brother was born, at 22 my oldest child was born, this year I can't have kids so maybe just maybe it will be the birth of my new home. Im hoping. But, its starting to look up. I turn 33 this year, I get a reprieve from the job I hate. I get to go back to school (I hope) And who knows....maybe Ill win the lottery. Its gonna be a good year.

Conversation with my youngest child

Youngest child: Mommy, is dinner almost done im sooooooooooooo hungry.
Me: Yes.
Youngest child: what are we having?
Me: fried poo.
Youngest child: eeeuuuwww, fried poo. Oh well im so hungry I dont care what it is.
And all that money Ive wasted on all those four (or is it five now?) food groups, turns out I couldve shopped in the yard for free.